FINAL DAY

Tomorrow is the final day to post an Amazon review for the Say the Word giveaway contest. Actually today was supposed to be the last day, but as I'm JUST NOW getting around to blogging this, you'll have till midnight tomorrow, Sept. 1st. I'll post the winning name on Wednesday. Thanks to all of you who've participated so far! *mwah*

Thursday Thankful 5

1. Thank you, Melodye Shore, for the review & contest for Say the Word. *smooch*

2. Thank you all for the new Amazon/Goodreads/Blog reviews!!

3. Thank you to the beta readers so far who've agreed to read my paranormal.

4. Thank God for Beth, trapped for hours and hours and hours with the boisterous, sock-eating, face-slobbering, furniture-jumping, butter-licking, toe-chewing, hair-pulling, shoe-grabbing, TV-barking, constantly-attention-seeking monster known as Elijah so Mom can write in peace.

5. Thank you, Rinn, for letting me finish your story. But seriously, girl--99,000 words???

XOX to all!!!

WHERE AM I?

I promise to blog soon. I do. Honest.

CONTEST REMINDER

In a effort to rack up a few more Amazon reviews for SAY THE WORD, I'm having a contest:

1. If you post a review on Amazon before September 1st you'll be entered in a drawing for a signed copy. Fear not: currently posted reviews of STW are automatically entered!

2. To increase your chances of winning, you can post your review on Goodreads, too.

3. Also, any new reviews of BEFORE, AFTER, AND SOMEBODY IN BETWEEN posted on Amazon between now and September 1st will further up your chances of winning a copy of STW.

4. When you post your review, simply e-mail me at jjgarsee at aol dot com and include the link(s).

PS Now that Amazon is letting me post reviews (yeah, we had "issues") I'm going to start posting some of my own, too. I have stack of 'em! :)

DAYS OF LITTLE TEXAS

The absolutely awesome Melodye Shore has a wonderful interview on her blog with R.A. Nelson, author of DAYS OF LITTLE TEXAS. Take a peek!



Another great Y.A. novel to add to my endlessly growing list of TBRs.

R.A. Nelson's WEBSITE

Blog Par-TAY

My very good friend Nadine's having a week-long BLOG PARTY--and I'm up today. If you like, stop by and say hi. :)

STILL AT IT

80 pages left to line edit and then back to the computer. I can't wait to see how many words I chopped out.

8,000 would be nice, rounding this monster down to an even 100k.

Somehow I doubt it.

Random 5

1. Just survived my 5-day stretch at work. I beleive I'll rant about this in a later post.

2. Sarah Darer Littman mentioned me on her Magical Mystery Tour!

3. See Eli staked out in backyard. See nosy little Yorkie run in our yard, yap-yap-yapping, like: "Ha, ha, you're tied up and I'm not, la-la-la!" See Eli do his monster sized WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! and catapult after the shocked Yorkie, dragging the stake behind him, and chasing Yorkie straight back to his own house. Yorkie may be traumatized for life. Eli appears quite proud of himself. Not sure if the stake survived the ordeal.

4. I'm about 1/4 way through my hard copy revisions. I love Rinn's world. I want Rinn to make me rich. Light candles! :)

5. The problem with having a relative with Alzheimers is that she calls me twenty times a day because she doesn't remember the first 19 times she called. Yet she remembers the number. Go figure.

Off to Borders or I won't get anything done!

PLEASE SPARE US!

Sadistic aliens have conquered Earth.

Those of you who refuse to cooperate will be bound and gagged with your eyelids clamped open (think A Clockwork Orange) and planted in front of Headline News.

You will then be forced to watch only ONE CONTINUOUS NEWS STORY.

Luckily you have 2 choices:

24-HOUR NON-STOP NEWS PREFERENCE
	The Death of Michael Jackson
	Jon and Kate
View Results

HORRORSCOPE

Your social life (??????) could suffer today because you aren't eager to spend your valuable time engaged in lighthearted banter (gossip and conspiracy issues) or playful games (umm...) that distract you from your real purpose (which is finishing this novel). It's not that you don't know how to have a good time; it's just that you would rather enjoy yourself when the pressure of unfulfilled obligations wasn't (<--is that the right tense?) weighing on your shoulders. There's no need for long explanations; just let others know that you'll be ready for fun soon enough.

"I'll be ready for fun soon enough." By 2010 for SURE.

CASHAY

I'm reading CASHAY by Margaret McMullan. You know I love gritty urban fiction, and this YA novel is about as "gritty" and "urban" as you can get.



I'm only 1/3 of the way through it and all I want to do is crawl into the pages and give Cashay a big hug.

WHAT TOTALLY BITES...

...is that I am not off till THURSDAY!

CRANKY

Okay, the BEST way to edit is to read the manuscript out loud. Seriously, you (well, me anyway) find so many errors that you miss when you read it on the computer. Of course it helps to have someone to read it TO--otherwise you just sit there reading out loud to yourself and get really weird looks from people who do much weirder things than read out loud to themselves.

Like talk on blue tooths behind you in line at Starbucks, so when you turn around and go "Pardon me?" and they keep on blabbing, you decide they're schizophrenic and quite clearly off their meds, so you quickly step a safe distance away.

Then you notice the blue tooth and wanna punch 'em in the nose.

Yeah, I'm cranky. I've been cranky since a trip to the grocery store (Big Bird) yesterday. Ticked off from moment I parked my car. NOT in the "expectant mothers" space, either. Because it was taken.

1. Before I even get through the doors there's somebody standing there blocking my way. WHY are you standing in the freaking doorway? Did you forget if you're coming in or going out? You don't have a cart. GET OUT OF MY WAY!

2. Two-for-the-price-of-one dog toys--and there was only one left. Ask me if I bought it. Elijah would love it. It didn't occur to me till later that they'd probably charge me half price. But seeing that TWO FOR THE PRICE OF ONE sign with only ONE TOY LEFT ticked me off. So I bought a different toy instead.

Which Eli ignores.

3. I love when I grab a food item out of a case, turn around to put it in my cart, and--you guessed it--someone ELSE is blocking my way. Standing right between me and my cart. Why are YOU in my way? I should wear a T-shirt: "PLEASE NO NOT SNEAK UP ON THE PSYCH NURSE." Does the term "boundaries" mean anything to these people?

4. The whole wheat bread I like (I lost 13 pounds since switching to whole grain and shedding my Mrs. Butterton habit of using one stick per bagel) was over $3 a loaf. I....don't....THINK....so!!!

5. The self-serve check-out lines were full (that figures) so I moved to an EMPTY full-serve one. The cashier dude looks 14.

"Did you find everything?"

What if I said "Oh, no, wait! I need a box of Depends--can you grab one for me?" would he leave his post? Fact: I am standing in line. Obviously I found everything or I'd still be wandering the aisles listening to Barry Manilow.

He rings up one item--then says "I'll be right back" and rushes off. In the middle of ringing me up!

Stand, wait, tap my foot. Dude returns after a couple minutes which is a damn long time when you're standing in line.

"Sorry."

Uh-huh. So he rings up most of my stuff, and pauses at the dog toy. He picks it up. He holds it up to the light. He shakes it. He studies it. He does everything but lick it.

"What's this?"

"Uh, it's a dog toy?" I mean, jeex, there's even a picture of a doggy on the label, in case you can't tell by looking at it.

"What's it do?"

"It's a toy."

"Yeah, but what's it do?"

"I may never know."

Whoosh! Right over his head. He shakes it again and throws it in a bag. THEN he commits the mortal sin of asking me if I want my milk in a bag. I liked it better when they'd say "Paper or Plastic?" because then I could stand there and look at the plastic bags, then the paper bags, then the plastic bags again, and ask "Mmm, I don't know...which is better?" just to see what they'd say. Now it's all plastic. Helloooooo, mighty landfills.

T-shirt #2: YES I WANT MY FREAKING MILK IN A BAG!

(I admit I kind of obsess over this "milk-in-a-bag" thing)

He finishes ringing me up, takes 15 seconds to count out the right change, and says, "Come again!" Yeah, hopefully on his day off.

So I was cranky yesterday, and cranky today, and I'll probably be crankycrankycranky till my next day off so I can get back to work on my second revision. I think that's Tuesday.

Or maybe Wednesday.

MONSTER WORD COUNT

108,000 words. That's one hundred and eight thousand words.

Did you guess that I finished the first round of revisions today? Tomorrow I'll print it out, proof-read (haha) and edit by hand, then make the changes and send it off to my betas.

Who will die when they see it. Seriously: one hundred and eight thousand words?????

OK, on the plus side: that's still > 10,000 fewer words than Twilight.

On the minus side: that's almost as freakin' LONG as Twilight!

Somehow I need to knock off another 8,000.

My agent says a book is as long as it needs to be. She'll change her tune when her printer explodes.

I need Twizzlers bad. Or Tums. Or Twizzler-flavored Tums.

Excuse me. I have to go take out a loan to print this out at CopyMax. After my Valium.

THURSDAY 5

Yeah, I know it's not Friday. I just said that in the title.

1. I believe it's perfectly okay to blow off revisions to spend a couple of hours blabbing with a friend. :)

*waving to Susan Taylor Brown*

2. Fellow LJer Sarah Darer Littman was sweet enough to take time out from her vacation to have breakfast with me and sign her book:



Thanks again, Sarah!

3. Our power went out yesterday evening. Instant panic: HOW CAN I WORK ON MY REVISIONS? I have a P.O.S. battery on my laptop that lasts, like, a nanosecond. I couldn't watch TV. I couldn't even cook dinner (wait, wait, that's on the PLUS side) so I ran out to Chipotle's for a barbacoa burrito which not only is not on my diet, but it ripped my stomach to shreds. I ended up reading while daylight held out, then fell asleep with my iPod in my ears. At 8:00 p.m, I might add, which is why I've been up since 4:25 a.m.

4. No more day care for Elijah this week b/c there's a massive virus going around. I swear this is exactly like day care for your kids (only cheaper). Any time you get a bunch of warm bodies together in one place, sooner or later there's an epidemic of something involving rampant body fluids.

5. I've been off work this week and diligently working on revisions. I have about 20 pages left, the hardest 20 pages of the entire ms. Then I'll print it off to re-revise by hand and proofread at the same time. Right now it's a heart-stopping 108k--an improvement from the original count count, but still huge.

HUUUUGE!

HUUUGE!

HUUUUGE!

DOGHOUSE ROCK

I Twittered that my house looks like Alcatraz. This is why:



I have three of these--one leading upstairs, one leading downstairs, and one on kitchen door #1. Kitchen door #2 has a smaller wooden gate that Elijah can jump over, so I added a bunch of junk to block it off. That makes FOUR GATES with bars in a 500 square foot area which I believe makes my house the first split-level cell block evvahh.

OK, I'm advertising this place because I love it: dog and cat owners, check out PET EDGE. You can't beat the prices, (though the shipping rates on these gates just about killed me; however, they're worth--every--penny).

Now if I can only get him to take a dump in the yard. Yeah, Elijah seems to be laboring under the delusion that the backyard is an "extension" of his house, so naturally he doesn't want to do the dirty deed there. I'll haul him around the yard, begging "Please poop! Please poop!" while he sniffs and eats grass and barks at the doxie two yards away. Eventually he'll drag me all the way to the end of the street where he'll dump on a neighbor's lawn--inevitably at the house of the two NOISY beagles he loves to harass--"Ha-ha, I crapped on your territory, you pyscho morons!"--and then I can schelp it back home in a plastic bag. A backpack is next on my wish list: "Here, mutt. Carry it home yourself."

:)

REVISIONS

"Wait, wait! Who wrote this crap? Surely not me!"

CONTEST! Reviews Needed!

In a effort to rack up a few more Amazon reviews for SAY THE WORD, I'm having a contest:

1. If you post a review on Amazon before September 1st you'll be entered in a drawing for a signed copy. Fear not: currently posted reviews of STW are automatically entered!

2. To increase your chances of winning, you can post your review on Goodreads, too.

3. Also, any new reviews of BEFORE, AFTER, AND SOMEBODY IN BETWEEN posted on Amazon between now and September 1st will further up your chances of winning a copy of STW.

4. When you post your review, simply e-mail me at jjgarsee at aol dot com and include the link(s).



C'mon! You know you want to! :)

"ORPHAN" CONTROVERSY

Apparently some pro-adoption groups believe that if prospective adoptive parents see ORPHAN they might think twice about adopting an older child.

What part of FICTION do these people not understand? Note that the studio agreed to remove an "offensive line" from the ad: "It must be hard to love an adopted child as much as your own."

I can see why this line may upset some viewers sensitive to the subject. Adopted kids, for instance, who may not be secure enough in their new family. However, why aren't there isn't there some child advocacy group out their protesting all the sex-oriented TV ads. I mean seriously, there's nothing like having your child ask you right in the middle of a bite of pizza: "Mommy, what's erectile dysfunction?" I may even start my own group protesting all these "Boo-hoo, the IRS took my last forty bucks!" commercials. Hey, I pay my taxes--what's wrong with you, you pathetic deadbeat loser?

I'm so ticked off by yet another group dictating their beliefs to those in the entertainment business (and this includes writers, people) that I'll definitely be seeing this movie. Maybe twice. Even if it sucks.

LOOKING FOR MR. GOODBAR didn't keep me out of nightclubs. That's where I met my husband.

POST OFFICE DRAMA (I'll take it where I can get it)

I'm standing in a long line at the post office (I'm next, thank goodness) and listening to another customer argue with the lady at the desk. The customer, a well-dressed, attractive woman with THE most incredible air of entitlement, is picking up a package for someone else. They want her to sign for the package.

She does not want to sign. She hauls out 80 pieces of ID to prove who she is, but the person who asked her to pick up the package specifically told her not to sign for it. How fascinating. So she argues with the lady behind the counter who says several times it is against their policy to relinquish this particular package without a signature. By then, of course, I'm dying to know what's in it.

This goes on for a couple minutes and the clerk finally tells her to get her skinny self important ass out of the way to please step aside. Customer refuses and asks for the supervisor. Clerk says she will call the superivisor but to please step aside.

Customer: "I'm not stepping aside. I said I want to talk to your supervisor!"

Clerk loses it, point to the line, and roars: "AND I SAID I WILL CALL MY SUPERVISOR! BUT I AIN'T HOLDIN' UP ALL THESE PEOPLE IN THAT LINE CUZ *YOU* DON'T WANNA STEP ASIDE!"

Customer's jaw drops. It's hysterical! I burst out laughing, and people behind me--after a moment of shock--start laughing, too.

Oh, don't you wish you could be that clerk just once in your life?

P.S. The supervisor tells her to SIGN FOR THE PACKAGE!

FRIDAY 5

1. I've been having a TERRIBLE time with this ghost story revision. Somethng wasn't jelling, it drove me nuts, and I honestly didn't know how to fix it.Then, in a 7-hour writing marathon yesterday (after meeting another_wip at Joseph Beth for coffee and writerly talk, I fixed it. I fixed it! Still, this is clearly the worst first draft I've ever slogged through and I still have a buttload of cutting.The good news it, it'll soon be ready to be read by my trusted betas. :)

2. Not to bring my favorite subject up again, but Elijah barfed up an inch-long hunk of Busy Bone last night, so that's what I was doing at 2 a.m.--washing the cover to his pillow and scrubbing out his crate. Yes, they're digestable but you have to chew them, you dumb dog! Then he was up at 5 a.m. tfor breakfast. Needless to say I'm still not getting much sleep.

PS Thanks to susanwritesfor the bully stick idea, thought at $5.00 + apiece these are definitely reserved for a special treat (or to get his slobbery face out of my hair for a bit) ---beside which, I'm sure they're equal to a human consuming a dozen Krispy Kremes

3. My current TBR list includes:

NEED by Carrie Jones (now moved to the top)
DAVID INSIDE OUT by Lee Bantle
BLOOM by Elizabeth Scott
THE ADORATION OF JENNA FOX by Mary Pearson
PERFECT YOU by Elizabeth Scott
CASHAY by Margaret McMullan

4. I did a masochostic thing yesterday but I can't discuss it. No, it didn't include include pain. Yet.

5. I forgot to post about the Billy Joel/Elton John concert. Well, of course it was awesome even with our $100 nosebleed seats--although when Billy first walked onstage I didn't recognized him, and thought "What the heck is George Carlin doing here? Isn't he dead?"

THROW IT IN THE BAG!!!

Why is it nobody can believe this is my new favorite song???
*Explicit lyrics*





Go figure.

'DEATH OF AN INDUSTRY"

AOL had a List of the 20 Most Worthless Items in Your House:

20. rice cooker (amen)
19. massaging insoles (no clue)
18. Polaroid camera (bummer!)
17. iron (I just threw mine out last month)
16. hobby kits (bad gift)
15. tie rack (I disagree--what else do you do with them? Stuff 'em in a drawer?)
14. giveaway flash drives (disagree; you can never have too many)
13. trade show freebies (yep)
12. bargain DVDs (although as the atricle says they make handy coasters)
11. ear candles (wtf are these?)
10. SEE BELOW
9. home theater sound systems (all you do is trip over the wires and dust the speakers--and then, like me, there's always a chance a critter might make a nest in it)
8. ice cream makers and bread machines (amen, esp the ice cream maker)
7. VCRPlus gizmos (yep)
6. ionic breeze (whatever)
5. single slot piggy bank (unless you collect antiques)
4. Ab rollers (I knew that without ever trying one out)
3. radar detectors (don't go there)
2. wipe warmers (??? what are we wiping here that it has to be warmed?)
1. Happy Meal toys (crap)

Yes. AOL in all its brilliance listed BOOKS IN A KINDLE WORLD as the 10th most worthless item in your home.

"Given his love of the printed word, it's probably strange that this blogger is eager to see the Amazon Kindle take over. On one level, the little plastic reader signals the death of an industry: more convenient and potentially less expensive than traditional books, it seems quite possible that they will end up squeezing out many publishers, printers and booksellers. On the other hand, Kindles could also prove the salvation of reading. With their cheap downloads, small size, and light weight, they are far more convenient than traditional books."

If I see one more article abut how Kindle is going to be the death of the publishing business, I think I'll barf.

FAT MONDAY

I just wrote this loooong post about how I gained so much weight since I started in psych (partly because I'm not burning calories by schlepping fat people in and out of bed) and how nothing I own fits, and how I was harangued yesterday by SUSAN and ELAINE to step on the scale only to learn I'm at my all-time high, that I didn't weigh nearly this much when, two decades ago, I was screaming in labor. Quite a witty post, if I say so myself. I typed it all down while gobbling my fat-free cottage cheese, and then:

I hit the wrong key. POOF! My whole post disappeared.

This is a SIGN that I'm not supposed to obsess over this--particularly since *I* am the one who complains about people who whine, whine, whine about how faaaat they are *sob-sniffle-reach-for-the-Krispy-Kremes* instead of either

1. EMBRACING THEIR OBESITY

or

2. GOING ON A FREAKIN' DIET!

Sigh. I'm going for number two unless I want to run out and buy another wardrobe a full 3 sizes larger than I wore last year. Either that or go back to a medical floor where I'll be moving more than my mouth.

Ah, no.

SWEET REVIEW

One of the nicest things I've heard from a young reviewer at TV and Book Addict (FYI, spoilers in the full review):

"After reading it I was left with this feeling. I don't know how to explain it. It's just so great and satisfying. Once you read it, I hope you feel it too."

The icing on the cake of a very productive day. :)

GOOD-BYE

I just heard Mariah Carey sing "I'll Be There" at Michael Jackson's memorial service, and realized for the first time the influence he had on my life. Although I liked his music, I've never been what you'd call a die-hard fan, meaning I don't own any of his albums, nor would I camp out for 3 days in L.A. for a glimpse of his hearse--and yet I feel the loss.

And I feel strangely sad. I hope Michael's remembered for his music, not for the controversy. His talent was such an incredible gift to this world.

"Let me fill your heart with joy and laughter--
Togetherness, well that's all I'm after.
Whenever you need me, I'll be there..."

How Do YOU Name Your Characters?

--and how many names did they have? Did you change them as you were writing, or are you still searching for the perfect name? How do you choose them?

SAY THE WORD: Shawna was originally Jena Gallagher. Then I wanted a female derivative of a male name so she could be named after her father. I changed it to Erica (and made her father an Eric). She was Erica Gallagher for a couple hundred pages before I changed it to Shawna and turned Dr. Eric Gallagher into a John.

Susan was an Olivia, and Devon was something else, too, but I forgot already (Pam/Holly/Char: do you remember?)

LeeLee was always LeeLee, which is my niece's nickname. I took her last name from Jane Velez Mitchell. Her real name, Ophelia, is the name of friend's mother. I also had an Ophelia in Before/After which I eventually cut out entirely. Guess I missed her.

Penny was always Penny, though I had to hit a baby name book to come up with her given name, Sonia. Sorenson was a classmate from high school. Fran was always Fran, and I took Goodman from one of my favoite childhood books. I had to ask for suggestions from a friend to come up with Nabil.

Shawna's father's girlfriend, Julie, had about a dozen names (she started out as a Mary) till I found one that fit.

Arye and Schmule had those names from the beginning (although Arye was originally the little one--till I decided I couldn't picture Shawna sucking face with a "Schmule" ha-ha). I knocked the final H off "Aryeh" because my crit group harassed me.

I have a friend named Charles. Hence the dog. :)

There's a Dr. Felker, named after a wonderful doctor I used to know. He died in an accident, so I immortalized him.

Jonas Dunn is a name very close to the name of my first crush.


BEFORE/AFTER: Martha was a Martha from the start; I was following the Michael Skakel/Martha Moxley trial when I first started writing it which shows you how frigging long it took me. I wanted a plain, old-fashioned, not-too-popular name. Agnes, Blanche, and Beulah were OUT.

Chardonnay was always Chardonnay (it's one of those names that just "come to you') but her best friend Shavonne started out as Sharnelle. Then I decided Char(donnay) and Shar(nelle) were too close, so I changed it to Shavonne (I was watching Ryan's Hope reruns at the time and changed the spelling from "Siobhan") because I couldn't have a Shavonne and a Yvonne, which was Aunt Gloria's original name.

Jerome was always Jerome. His cousin Anthony started out as Andre, but I changed it when I decided Bubby's real name should be De'Andre (Bubby told me this himself, so who was I to argue?).

I took the names Mario and Zelda from my kids' favorite video games.

I named Wayne after a total CREEP I met in real life. In fact, he was a composite of several creeps I knew.

Nikki and Rachel Brinkman started out as Melissa and Hanna, and Richard was a George, but Claudia and Danny named themselves, too.

Professor Moscowitz was named after someone I once knew. Well, the last name, anyway. I never knew a "Leopold."

(I use names of real people, too, e.g. Danielle WALSH and Jerome LINDSEY, named after coworkers; GALLAGHER is a relative's maiden name; Mr. TWOHIG, after a teacher--he was originally a Cruickshank (after a patient) but my agent wondered if that was a reference to Harry Potter; the answer was "no" b/c I never read HP or saw the films, but I changed it anyway. Likewise, Schmule's headmaster Mr. DICKERHOOF was named after a patient ( I swear).

I'm sure there are others, but this is off the top of my head.

OK, your turn. Play along! Give examples!

Next: Killing off characters

HAPPY FOURTH!

Associated Press

Have a safe, happy holiday!

WATCHING THE CLOCK

You know how it is when you fall in love? You're dying to spend every moment with that person. You think about him nonstop every waking moment and resent every little thing that keeps you apart. You count the hours till you can see each other again. He's all you can think about when you're not together.

You dream. You fantasize. You count every minute.

*Insert Tchaichovsky's Love Theme from Romeo and Juliet*





That's me and writing.

Seventeen more hours...

ENDLESS!

Today's my fifth day of a 5-day work stretch. I scheduled this on purpose so I could have 5 days off in a row to work on these revisions--although with the holiday it'll only be 3.

This is killing me. Yes, the "not-revising" part, but especially this 5-day stretch. For those of you who normally work 5 straight days, I better not hear you say: "Awww, poor you!" I usually work 2 or 3 days at a time and my poor fat disgusting body's not used to this kind of abuse. My days are hectic: 8 endless hours dealing with an extremely high noise level, non-stop psychotic babbling, breaking up altercations, and periodic rounds up and down the hall to make sure nobody's engaged in any illicit activities...you know, sex, drugs, trying to off themselves, etc. It's freakin' exhausting after a single shift, let alone five; by tonight I'll be ready to check my own self in.