After spending an afternoon scrubbing grit and mildew out that whole freezer (so I'd have some place to stash my WW dinners), I plugged it in and discovered...
It's totally dead.
Three hours of my life I'll never get back.
My fridge is also on its very last leg. That, however, I'm almost happy about. It's a side-by-side and I've HATED it for the whole 22 years I've had it. Skinny little freezer, skinny little fridge, with neither side good for anything. DO NOT EVER, EVER BUY A STUPID SIDE-BY-SIDE! It's the dumbest thing I ever bought besides this basement-less house. Forget throwing a pizza box or a sheet cake inside. Forget having adequate space to even stash a significant amount of leftovers. Forget freezing a TURKEY.
Now that it's leaking from the bottom and freezing my lettuce, I guess it's time for a shopping trip. Lovely. Let me run out to my backyard and grab some bills off a branch. BRB.
Thursday, June 30, 2011
Tuesday, June 28, 2011
25 Pounds Come Hell or High Water
Last year hubby decided we don't stock enough food in the garage freezer to justify it use. So he turned it off. I agreed at the time.
Then this spring--as I try to avoid the garage at all costs, which is used for JUNK, not cars--I noticed the freezer door was standing open. The shelves are loaded with dirt.
Me: WHY THE HELL DID YOU LEAVE THE FREEZER DOOR OPEN?
Hubby: I didn't want it to get musty.
Me: ??? *%#* ??? *$%# ??? %$&*!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So my job today is to clean out that freezer so Beth and I can load it up with Weight Watchers dinners. Five of us at work, plus Beth, and another friend, plan to lose 25 pounds by Thanksgiving. That's 5 pounds a month. I've even started walking (around the hospital, through the ghetto on my break, which means it's a pretty fast walk, pepper spray in hand). Plus I'm sure the 17 bags of mulch I hauled across the yard yesterday afternoon must have knocked off a couple hundred calories.
I will call this challenge...BlubberMo! :) Anyone care to join in? :)
Then this spring--as I try to avoid the garage at all costs, which is used for JUNK, not cars--I noticed the freezer door was standing open. The shelves are loaded with dirt.
Me: WHY THE HELL DID YOU LEAVE THE FREEZER DOOR OPEN?
Hubby: I didn't want it to get musty.
Me: ??? *%#* ??? *$%# ??? %$&*!!!!!!!!!!!!!
So my job today is to clean out that freezer so Beth and I can load it up with Weight Watchers dinners. Five of us at work, plus Beth, and another friend, plan to lose 25 pounds by Thanksgiving. That's 5 pounds a month. I've even started walking (around the hospital, through the ghetto on my break, which means it's a pretty fast walk, pepper spray in hand). Plus I'm sure the 17 bags of mulch I hauled across the yard yesterday afternoon must have knocked off a couple hundred calories.
I will call this challenge...BlubberMo! :) Anyone care to join in? :)
Monday, June 27, 2011
Current Addictions
1. Nicorette gum
2. The Casey Anthony trial
3. Planting...um, plants
4. Multi-colored Twizzlers
5. The Casey Anthony trial. Oh wait.I already said that.
6. Arizona raspberry iced tea
7. Roseanne reruns
8. Buying new underwear
9. A certain message board that shall not be named
10. Casey Anthony...
2. The Casey Anthony trial
3. Planting...um, plants
4. Multi-colored Twizzlers
5. The Casey Anthony trial. Oh wait.I already said that.
6. Arizona raspberry iced tea
7. Roseanne reruns
8. Buying new underwear
9. A certain message board that shall not be named
10. Casey Anthony...
Friday, June 24, 2011
Friday 5
1. Decided to trim my own hair. Decided, after the fact, that that was a very bad idea. Situation rectified thanks to a very resourceful hairdresser.
2. 5 of us at work made a pact to lose 25 pounds by Thanksgiving. Anyone wanna join in?
3. We're to the point now where if one of us just starts singing "Bennie and the Jets", Eli jumps right in and howls his head off. We don't even have to play the video for him.
4. Don't you love it when people try to make you change the way you've been doing something for years, and then you later find out you were doing it right all along and they don't know wtf they're talking about?
5. Are you happy tonight? I am. I am VERY HAPPY. It's been a happy, happy day.
Have a great weekend! xox
2. 5 of us at work made a pact to lose 25 pounds by Thanksgiving. Anyone wanna join in?
3. We're to the point now where if one of us just starts singing "Bennie and the Jets", Eli jumps right in and howls his head off. We don't even have to play the video for him.
4. Don't you love it when people try to make you change the way you've been doing something for years, and then you later find out you were doing it right all along and they don't know wtf they're talking about?
5. Are you happy tonight? I am. I am VERY HAPPY. It's been a happy, happy day.
Have a great weekend! xox
Wednesday, June 22, 2011
Writers Write About Writing: Deal With It
I love Besty Lerner’s book on writing and publishing, The Forest Through the Trees. I like it so much, I recommend it to other writers every chance I get. It's brilliant, and gives us an editor's eye-view of the whole business of publishing (and writing).
As for her blog--The Forest Through the Trees (OK, we get it) I am not so sure because I’ve only just discovered it. On first inspection it looked funny and intriguing. Chances are I'll find it to be exactly that--after my rant.
THIS WAS THE FIRST post I read, which started out with: "Why do I get so grossed out when writers talk about their craft, their process, or worst of all: their art. In part, it sounds phoney to me, as if you could qualify, quantify, codify how you work. You’re a lucky bastard if you’re any good at all and that’s all you need to know.”
And I thought, well, okay, that last part is true. You ARE a lucky bastard if you’re any good at all. You’re even luckier if you suck, and, by some miracle, you hit the literary jackpot with your 700 pages of dreck and end up with a 10-book series published in 47 languages, plus a movie franchise and a talk-show tour.
In fact, you can consider yourself lucky if you manage to complete a single manuscript. You’re lucky if anyone ever sees it who isn’t related by blood or marriage, unless it’s someone out to scam you for every dime you’re worth. You’re lucky if get a request for a partial in 212 area code, never mind the full manuscript. Then you’re lucky as hell if anyone says yes.
“It’s not luck: it’s skill.” How many times have you heard this? Hello, if it’s strictly skill, then explain why someone who writes and sells a first novel maybe never get another “yes”? What, you write one well-crafted, commercially viable novel that sells, and then nothing else you produce even garners a nibble?
Or maybe you can’t even produce? Is that even possible? Of course it is. If that’s not a butt-load of bad luck, I don’t know you'd call it.
So that part I agree with 110%. I also agree with this, which kind of goes along with what I just said: “I also think that writing is completely mysterious; you never know when the hell you’re going to make a break-through or when the words will dry up and float away like new year’s paper.”
No argument from me there.
Now read the whole piece if you haven’t already. Maybe working on a psych floor has ignited a new-found sense of paranoia in me, but why do I detect a sense of ridicule for writers (like many of us here on LJ) who choose to discuss the craft? It may not be intentional; after all, Lerner’s a writer herself. But—and maybe it’s just me, and the fact that I ran out of Zoloft three days ago—to say a writer still has her “training wheels on” because she needs to produce multiple drafts of a project to get it right…well, I found that insulting and condescending, to say nothing of...well, stupid. How many of you write a perfect first or second draft? Hands up! Anyone?
Then, speaking of insults, I found this in her comment section: “The thing that irritates me most is that they think they actually have something interesting to say about writing when they have one YA novel under their belts.”
WHOA! Stop the train. Now someone really pissed on my Pop-Tart.
Because I’m not a full-time writer who’s really “in” the business, maybe I’m safely insulated in the sense that I’ve never experienced, firsthand, that kind of contempt toward YA authors. Though I’ve heard that it happens, I’ve never been asked, “When are you going to write a real book now?” And it’s a damn good thing because I’m not sure how I’d react. To have such contempt for authors who write anything but mainstream adult fiction…well, it’s mind-boggling to me. It would never occur to me to ask, say, a picture book writer, “Hey, when ya gonna break down and write something for grown-ups?” I tried writing a picture book once. Anyone who thinks that’s easy obviously hasn't a clue in the world.
I think most authors, with a few amazing exceptions (Jane Yolan, for example) find their own niche in writing and then stick to it for the life of their careers. You’re not “less” of a writer because you write for children, More importantly, writing for adults doesn’t make you this incredible entity worthy of any more respect. It certainly doesn’t give you the right to turn your nose up at rest of us. Anyone's mother would slap you upside the head for that.
So, yes, we writers write, and we enjoy discussing the craft. How is that different from any other profession? Nurses discuss nursing, often in hideous, gut-wrenching detail. Lawyers discuss cases, and, if they lost, they analyze what went wrong and how to prevent it in the future. Don’t doctors, artists, teachers, shopkeepers, dog walkers, hairdressers, peanut vendors—any profession you can think of—all sit around and yammer about their jobs? Of course they do. It’s a part of life.
We writers do precisely the same thing. The difference is, because we are writers, we also write these things down on our blogs. No, this isn’t the way to attract readers who’ll then want to rush out and buy our books. That's not why we do it. We write these things for ourselves, and we write them for other writers.
If you don't want to read it? Don’t click on our links.
As for her blog--The Forest Through the Trees (OK, we get it) I am not so sure because I’ve only just discovered it. On first inspection it looked funny and intriguing. Chances are I'll find it to be exactly that--after my rant.
THIS WAS THE FIRST post I read, which started out with: "Why do I get so grossed out when writers talk about their craft, their process, or worst of all: their art. In part, it sounds phoney to me, as if you could qualify, quantify, codify how you work. You’re a lucky bastard if you’re any good at all and that’s all you need to know.”
And I thought, well, okay, that last part is true. You ARE a lucky bastard if you’re any good at all. You’re even luckier if you suck, and, by some miracle, you hit the literary jackpot with your 700 pages of dreck and end up with a 10-book series published in 47 languages, plus a movie franchise and a talk-show tour.
In fact, you can consider yourself lucky if you manage to complete a single manuscript. You’re lucky if anyone ever sees it who isn’t related by blood or marriage, unless it’s someone out to scam you for every dime you’re worth. You’re lucky if get a request for a partial in 212 area code, never mind the full manuscript. Then you’re lucky as hell if anyone says yes.
“It’s not luck: it’s skill.” How many times have you heard this? Hello, if it’s strictly skill, then explain why someone who writes and sells a first novel maybe never get another “yes”? What, you write one well-crafted, commercially viable novel that sells, and then nothing else you produce even garners a nibble?
Or maybe you can’t even produce? Is that even possible? Of course it is. If that’s not a butt-load of bad luck, I don’t know you'd call it.
So that part I agree with 110%. I also agree with this, which kind of goes along with what I just said: “I also think that writing is completely mysterious; you never know when the hell you’re going to make a break-through or when the words will dry up and float away like new year’s paper.”
No argument from me there.
Now read the whole piece if you haven’t already. Maybe working on a psych floor has ignited a new-found sense of paranoia in me, but why do I detect a sense of ridicule for writers (like many of us here on LJ) who choose to discuss the craft? It may not be intentional; after all, Lerner’s a writer herself. But—and maybe it’s just me, and the fact that I ran out of Zoloft three days ago—to say a writer still has her “training wheels on” because she needs to produce multiple drafts of a project to get it right…well, I found that insulting and condescending, to say nothing of...well, stupid. How many of you write a perfect first or second draft? Hands up! Anyone?
Then, speaking of insults, I found this in her comment section: “The thing that irritates me most is that they think they actually have something interesting to say about writing when they have one YA novel under their belts.”
WHOA! Stop the train. Now someone really pissed on my Pop-Tart.
Because I’m not a full-time writer who’s really “in” the business, maybe I’m safely insulated in the sense that I’ve never experienced, firsthand, that kind of contempt toward YA authors. Though I’ve heard that it happens, I’ve never been asked, “When are you going to write a real book now?” And it’s a damn good thing because I’m not sure how I’d react. To have such contempt for authors who write anything but mainstream adult fiction…well, it’s mind-boggling to me. It would never occur to me to ask, say, a picture book writer, “Hey, when ya gonna break down and write something for grown-ups?” I tried writing a picture book once. Anyone who thinks that’s easy obviously hasn't a clue in the world.
I think most authors, with a few amazing exceptions (Jane Yolan, for example) find their own niche in writing and then stick to it for the life of their careers. You’re not “less” of a writer because you write for children, More importantly, writing for adults doesn’t make you this incredible entity worthy of any more respect. It certainly doesn’t give you the right to turn your nose up at rest of us. Anyone's mother would slap you upside the head for that.
So, yes, we writers write, and we enjoy discussing the craft. How is that different from any other profession? Nurses discuss nursing, often in hideous, gut-wrenching detail. Lawyers discuss cases, and, if they lost, they analyze what went wrong and how to prevent it in the future. Don’t doctors, artists, teachers, shopkeepers, dog walkers, hairdressers, peanut vendors—any profession you can think of—all sit around and yammer about their jobs? Of course they do. It’s a part of life.
We writers do precisely the same thing. The difference is, because we are writers, we also write these things down on our blogs. No, this isn’t the way to attract readers who’ll then want to rush out and buy our books. That's not why we do it. We write these things for ourselves, and we write them for other writers.
If you don't want to read it? Don’t click on our links.
Tuesday, June 21, 2011
Tuesday Teaser from THE UNQUIET
It's been a while. I may have posted this before, but I'm really grasping with this one-post-a-day-thing. :-)
~ ~ ~
If Annaliese were alive, she’d be Mom’s age now. Maybe she’d still be living here, sleeping in that canopy bed.
Maybe she and her grandmother would plant flowers together. Play checkers. Laugh at TV shows. Count fireflies on a summer night. All the things Nana and I used to do.
I hear them now: Annaliese, saying, “Grandma, I love you the best.”
Mrs. Gibbons: “No, you don’t. You love your mother the best.”
Annaliese: “If my mother loved me she wouldn’t have sent me away.”
Mrs. Gibbons: “She only wants to keep you safe.”
Annaliese: “I don’t care. I love you best, more than anyone else.”
Mrs. Gibbons: “I think she might be sad if she knew you felt that way.”
Annaliese, slyly: “Then we’d better not tell her, right?”
But maybe Annaliese’s love for her grandmother won’t be enough. She’ll come home one day, call for her grandmother, and no one will answer. She’ll wander from room to room, searching, confused. She’ll reach the attic stairs and walk up them, one by one, still calling for the person she loves more than her own mother—
—only to discover a tipped chair.
A discarded slipper.
Sunday, June 19, 2011
FATHER'S DAY
The 5 Best Things I Inherited from My Dad:
1. My sense of humor
2. My eyes
3. Courage
4. Patriotism
5. A love for music
Happy Father's Day, Daddy. I hope you're watching.
1. My sense of humor
2. My eyes
3. Courage
4. Patriotism
5. A love for music
Happy Father's Day, Daddy. I hope you're watching.
Saturday, June 18, 2011
WHAT?!?
Some "Freak" on WN called me a bigot yesterday. I had to chew my fingers down to the knuckles to refrain from a response much nastier than the one I posted. I'm not alone in believing this guy (or girl, or whatever) is a semi-literate nutcase who gets his jollies from instigating fights--in fact, I'd say it's pretty unanimous--but still.
I'd be pretty ticked off if it weren't so ludicrous. HAHAHAHA! Get off my planet.
I'd be pretty ticked off if it weren't so ludicrous. HAHAHAHA! Get off my planet.
Friday, June 17, 2011
Next Time I'll Just Park in Front
Warning: if you pull around to the very-remote-completely-deserted-middle-of-nowhere back of a garden center, and no one waiting there to load your mulch, or your top soil, or whatever you just blew a couple hundred bucks on ($211.80 to be precise) it's probably not a good idea to park your car behind the mile-high pile of 2.0 cubic feet bags and then start wandering around, looking for someone...at dusk.
I thought that first building back there might lead to the main store, so I wandered inside, noting with distaste the plant corpses strewn about. The building led into an adjoining building, kind of a half-greenhouse, half-barn, all musty and gross with more dead/dying plants, piles of junk everywhere--and NOBODY AROUND. Not a person, not a sound--
Till something CRASHED ten feet away from me, and a giant RAT (or more likely a possum) leaped into the air and then scrabbled out of sight, knocking stuff out its way. Not particularly bothered by massive rodents, I continued, less enthusiastically, into the next building, not much more than a large shed with empty shelves and the pervasive stench of rotting plants. Oh--and manure.
No main store in this direction, obviously. Well, hell. Where was I?
I heard a distant buzz. Possibly a...chainsaw?
Then it occurred to me that my car was parked waaay our of sight from the road, and that for all I know some homicidal lunatic could've followed me here, and who would hear my screams? No one but the possum and I doubt he'd been trained to run and bark for help. Now I pictured my face plastered all over Nancy Grace (yeah, middle-class, professional white woman--a shoo-in, right?) and my husband bleating miserably into the camera: "B-but she just drove off to pick up the rest of the mulch. She had to make two trips because she was too cheap--" (notice how he's already speaking of me in the past tense?) "--to pay the twenty-five bucks for delivery. I haven't seen her since!"
And Nancy's arch-browed smirk, which of course you know means: yeah, right, buddy! Tell it to the judge.
I whirled around and raced--well, stumbled; I was wearing flip-flops--back the way I came and made the five-minute trek all the way around to the road, to the main entrance of the garden center, and grabbed the nearest clerk who then tracked down the kid who was supposed to be waiting for me.
"Oh," he said blankly. "I didn't see you pull in."
I tipped him anyway.
I thought that first building back there might lead to the main store, so I wandered inside, noting with distaste the plant corpses strewn about. The building led into an adjoining building, kind of a half-greenhouse, half-barn, all musty and gross with more dead/dying plants, piles of junk everywhere--and NOBODY AROUND. Not a person, not a sound--
Till something CRASHED ten feet away from me, and a giant RAT (or more likely a possum) leaped into the air and then scrabbled out of sight, knocking stuff out its way. Not particularly bothered by massive rodents, I continued, less enthusiastically, into the next building, not much more than a large shed with empty shelves and the pervasive stench of rotting plants. Oh--and manure.
No main store in this direction, obviously. Well, hell. Where was I?
I heard a distant buzz. Possibly a...chainsaw?
Then it occurred to me that my car was parked waaay our of sight from the road, and that for all I know some homicidal lunatic could've followed me here, and who would hear my screams? No one but the possum and I doubt he'd been trained to run and bark for help. Now I pictured my face plastered all over Nancy Grace (yeah, middle-class, professional white woman--a shoo-in, right?) and my husband bleating miserably into the camera: "B-but she just drove off to pick up the rest of the mulch. She had to make two trips because she was too cheap--" (notice how he's already speaking of me in the past tense?) "--to pay the twenty-five bucks for delivery. I haven't seen her since!"
And Nancy's arch-browed smirk, which of course you know means: yeah, right, buddy! Tell it to the judge.
I whirled around and raced--well, stumbled; I was wearing flip-flops--back the way I came and made the five-minute trek all the way around to the road, to the main entrance of the garden center, and grabbed the nearest clerk who then tracked down the kid who was supposed to be waiting for me.
"Oh," he said blankly. "I didn't see you pull in."
I tipped him anyway.
Wednesday, June 15, 2011
Tuesday, June 14, 2011
Nicotine DTs
1. Drive to Borders with lap top, excited that you finally have a chance to work on Current Project.
2. Grab a medium Mint Chocolate Javakula, make yourself comfortable, rev up your computer, and settle into place.
3. Try not to think about the fact that this is the first time you've attempted to write without taking a cigarette break every30 15 minutes.
4. Open documents. Whoops! Where's the Current Project? It's true you haven't worked on it in, oh, three months or so. But it has to be there, right?
5. Wrong Current project is not there. You never downloaded it from your old computer. Well, at least it's on the flash drive...
6. Except you didn't bring your flash drive.
7. Don't you wish you had a cigarette right now?
8. Open another file, the Dreaded Synopsis which needs serious work. At least it's something.
9. Work, work, work....then it's time for a cigarette--WAIT! NO! You quit over a month ago.
10. Whiny voice: "But--but I don't know how to write without smoking. I do my very best work under the influence of nicotine, tar, and a variety of proven carcinogens."
11. Mean voice: "ARE YOU STOOOOPID? This is nothing but an excuse for you not to write."
12. "Yes, but--"
13. "No buts! You're no better than a junkie. Just WRITE, for God's sake,"
14. Okay. I do. Write, write, write, write...now I just need a break.
15. Walk around store. Look at books. You were smoking those e-cigs up until yesterday. You chomped on a couple of "borrowed" pieces of nicorette gum. Methadone for smokers. It doesn't kick you out of the habit. It just keeps you from killing anyone.
16. Like now: yes, you really want to kill someone now. That twit yammering loudly on the cell phone at the next table. That screaming kid who wants the chocolate-covered espresso beans her mom won't buy for her. Look, lady--BUY HER THE DAMN BEANS AND GET HER THE HELL OUT OF HER BEFORE SOMEONE GETS HURT!
17. Pant, pant. You're okay. Really.
18. Write, write, write. Another break, and you play on Writers Net--such fun! Seriously. Your new best friends.
19. Write, write, write...
20. Write.....wriiite.........wriiiiiite... Oh, you seriously, desperately NEED THAT CIGARETTE. Your hands are shaking. Can't be the coffee you ordered as soon as you gulped down the Javakula, right?
21. Get up and walk. Pee. Circle the bookstore again. Sarah Dessen has an entire table devoted to her books. You have no such table. You probably never will. Does this piss you off? Not if you had a cigarette right now...
22. Back to table. Write, write, write. You are getting nowhere. Every word is stupid. You start to hallucinate, believing that pen in your purse is a stray, stale, long-forgotten cigarette. You refrain from lighting it up. You take deep breaths and count to 10. You visualize yourself as a tobacco-free person who will live to be a hundred, write ten bestsellers...ohmm...ohm, ohm, ohhhmmmmm....
23. Then you stare at your computer screen. You've done absolutely nothing of any significance.
24. Screw it. YOU CAN'T TAKE IT ANY MORE!
25. Abandoning your stuff (not the lap top, of course) you race out to your car, gun the engine, zoom across the street to Big Bird, grab what you need, pay for it ($50), zoom back to Borders, and fall back down at your table.
26. You rip open the package and pop the gum into your mouth. Minty fresh. It tingles! You gradually relax. You actually smile. People wonder why that glassy-eyed woman in the corner is smiling around a mouthful of gum, gazing into space.
27: Mean Voice: "You just had to do it, didn't you? No self-control what-so-ever."
28. "Oh, just...bite me."
29. You spend the rest of the time in creative bliss, hammering away at the keys, lost in The Zone, not thinking about the ditz with the cell phone, or even Sarah Dessen, because you are now calm and self-confident and loaded with minty nicotine,
It turns out to be a pretty productive day after all.
2. Grab a medium Mint Chocolate Javakula, make yourself comfortable, rev up your computer, and settle into place.
3. Try not to think about the fact that this is the first time you've attempted to write without taking a cigarette break every
4. Open documents. Whoops! Where's the Current Project? It's true you haven't worked on it in, oh, three months or so. But it has to be there, right?
5. Wrong Current project is not there. You never downloaded it from your old computer. Well, at least it's on the flash drive...
6. Except you didn't bring your flash drive.
7. Don't you wish you had a cigarette right now?
8. Open another file, the Dreaded Synopsis which needs serious work. At least it's something.
9. Work, work, work....then it's time for a cigarette--WAIT! NO! You quit over a month ago.
10. Whiny voice: "But--but I don't know how to write without smoking. I do my very best work under the influence of nicotine, tar, and a variety of proven carcinogens."
11. Mean voice: "ARE YOU STOOOOPID? This is nothing but an excuse for you not to write."
12. "Yes, but--"
13. "No buts! You're no better than a junkie. Just WRITE, for God's sake,"
14. Okay. I do. Write, write, write, write...now I just need a break.
15. Walk around store. Look at books. You were smoking those e-cigs up until yesterday. You chomped on a couple of "borrowed" pieces of nicorette gum. Methadone for smokers. It doesn't kick you out of the habit. It just keeps you from killing anyone.
16. Like now: yes, you really want to kill someone now. That twit yammering loudly on the cell phone at the next table. That screaming kid who wants the chocolate-covered espresso beans her mom won't buy for her. Look, lady--BUY HER THE DAMN BEANS AND GET HER THE HELL OUT OF HER BEFORE SOMEONE GETS HURT!
17. Pant, pant. You're okay. Really.
18. Write, write, write. Another break, and you play on Writers Net--such fun! Seriously. Your new best friends.
19. Write, write, write...
20. Write.....wriiite.........wriiiiiite... Oh, you seriously, desperately NEED THAT CIGARETTE. Your hands are shaking. Can't be the coffee you ordered as soon as you gulped down the Javakula, right?
21. Get up and walk. Pee. Circle the bookstore again. Sarah Dessen has an entire table devoted to her books. You have no such table. You probably never will. Does this piss you off? Not if you had a cigarette right now...
22. Back to table. Write, write, write. You are getting nowhere. Every word is stupid. You start to hallucinate, believing that pen in your purse is a stray, stale, long-forgotten cigarette. You refrain from lighting it up. You take deep breaths and count to 10. You visualize yourself as a tobacco-free person who will live to be a hundred, write ten bestsellers...ohmm...ohm, ohm, ohhhmmmmm....
23. Then you stare at your computer screen. You've done absolutely nothing of any significance.
24. Screw it. YOU CAN'T TAKE IT ANY MORE!
25. Abandoning your stuff (not the lap top, of course) you race out to your car, gun the engine, zoom across the street to Big Bird, grab what you need, pay for it ($50), zoom back to Borders, and fall back down at your table.
26. You rip open the package and pop the gum into your mouth. Minty fresh. It tingles! You gradually relax. You actually smile. People wonder why that glassy-eyed woman in the corner is smiling around a mouthful of gum, gazing into space.
27: Mean Voice: "You just had to do it, didn't you? No self-control what-so-ever."
28. "Oh, just...bite me."
29. You spend the rest of the time in creative bliss, hammering away at the keys, lost in The Zone, not thinking about the ditz with the cell phone, or even Sarah Dessen, because you are now calm and self-confident and loaded with minty nicotine,
It turns out to be a pretty productive day after all.
Monday, June 13, 2011
Brother and Sisters Together Again
Yes, it was a wonderful (and overdue) family reunion at my brother Tommy's wedding last week, to the beautiful Erin Mahon.
This is my brother Milan, who, as I wrote in the acknowledgments of Before/After, was the first person in the world to hear my stories. :)
My brother Tommy, the groom, and sister Mary (whom many of you already know from here and from Facebook)
And my sister Karen, aka SISSY--my best friend in the world!
I love all you guys and I AM SO HAPPY we were together in one place!
This is my brother Milan, who, as I wrote in the acknowledgments of Before/After, was the first person in the world to hear my stories. :)
My brother Tommy, the groom, and sister Mary (whom many of you already know from here and from Facebook)
And my sister Karen, aka SISSY--my best friend in the world!
I love all you guys and I AM SO HAPPY we were together in one place!
Friday, June 10, 2011
Eli's (latest) Boo-Boo
It's blurry, but look at his right eyebrow. It's bald, right? Two days ago he came home from camp with a bump and what looked like an abrasion. He plays rough, and is somewhat clumsy, so it wouldn't surprise me to learn he'd bashed into something. Beth cleaned it with peroxide. Yesterday it looked better. Then, today, he woke up with his eye half-closed.
So back to the vet for the 330th time this year. A bee sting? A spider bite? The vet's not sure, but it's likely something chomped down on his eyebrow, and probably not another dog. The vet said he'll probably lose more hair, but it'll grow back.
Oh, and to apply warm compresses. Yeah, THAT was fun.
Thursday, June 9, 2011
MyTwo Cents
Posting a link a day without much (or any) commentary on my part probably shouldn't count for my "one-post-a-day-for-the-month-of-June" vow. But work's got me down and it's been difficult to muster up enough energy to be both witty and interesting, and consistent.
Anyway. I've been following this WSJ controversy fairly closely, and I'm having regrets that I'm not on Twitter to participate more fully. Do I think the Megan Cox Gurdon is totally off the wall? Well, I realize the point she was trying to make--that YA lit has gotten so dark and so gritty, parents may be concerned about the effect these books have on their children. Point taken, Megan, I'd be lying if I said I haven't read any recent YA books that I'd be very leery of handing over to, say, a 12-year-old.
That said, my own reading material, back in the sixties and seventies, was never monitored by my parents. Nor did I ever restrict my own children's reading material. Yes, I knew what they were reading, and, in most cases I was okay with it. If I wasn't (Stephen King comes to mind) we discussed it. But I never snatched a book our of their hands and screamed why are you reading this trash? I trusted my children to make the right decisions. They read what they were interested in. I was just thrilled they were reading..
One thing that annoyed me about the article was Gurdon's not-so-subtle book bashing, e.g. referring to Cheryl Rainfield's SCARS as "dreadfully clunky." Seriously, even if she'd found the novel flawlessly and exquisitely written, would she have admitted that in print? I doubt it. After all, I think she'd avoid saying anything positive about the book. What if a positive review tempted a child to read the book and then later decide to slice herself up? I highly doubt Gurdon would want that on her conscience.
What REALLY ticked me off was her baseless assumption that "it is also possible—indeed, likely—that books focusing on pathologies help normalize them and, in the case of self-harm, may even spread their plausibility and likelihood to young people who might otherwise never have imagined such extreme measures."
Okay, Meg--show me the scientific study that says that children who read books about "pathologies"--particularly kids who might otherwise never have imagined these things--decide to try these pathologies out.What? No study? No scientific evidence. You mean it's just your opinion? Perhaps you should say so.
FYI: Funny, I've been reading murder mysteries, thrillers, and true crime stories since the age of 12 and not once have I toyed with the idea of shooting, stabbing, or dismembering anyone. Neither have my children, who grew up with the dark YA novel denigrated in the article, not to mention reality TV and video games. Neither have the children of anyone I know. And, trust me, I know a heckuva lot of people.
I've heard many, many YA authors say, and I've said it myself, that we write the kind of stories we wish had been available to us as teens. We "older" authors understand that completely. Younger authors are fortunate to have been able to experience these new and challenging stories from the get-go. For the rest of us, there's still a passion for the newer, grittier, identifiable literature that stems from our being deprived it while growing up.
And by the way, you younger authors--how are you faring after being so inconsiderately exposed to all that "damage, brutality and losses of the most horrendous kinds"? From what I've seen, you seem to be doing just fine--and writing brilliantly. :)
As Laurie Halse Anderson reminds us: "YA literature saves lives. Every. Single. Day."
Never forget it.
ETA: I mistakenly named Lauren Myracle as the author of SCARS instead of Cheryl Rainfield, which amazes me after I made a point to read Rainfield's response to the WSJ article (and BLOGGED about her, no less). Thanks to those of you who pointed out the error.
Anyway. I've been following this WSJ controversy fairly closely, and I'm having regrets that I'm not on Twitter to participate more fully. Do I think the Megan Cox Gurdon is totally off the wall? Well, I realize the point she was trying to make--that YA lit has gotten so dark and so gritty, parents may be concerned about the effect these books have on their children. Point taken, Megan, I'd be lying if I said I haven't read any recent YA books that I'd be very leery of handing over to, say, a 12-year-old.
That said, my own reading material, back in the sixties and seventies, was never monitored by my parents. Nor did I ever restrict my own children's reading material. Yes, I knew what they were reading, and, in most cases I was okay with it. If I wasn't (Stephen King comes to mind) we discussed it. But I never snatched a book our of their hands and screamed why are you reading this trash? I trusted my children to make the right decisions. They read what they were interested in. I was just thrilled they were reading..
One thing that annoyed me about the article was Gurdon's not-so-subtle book bashing, e.g. referring to Cheryl Rainfield's SCARS as "dreadfully clunky." Seriously, even if she'd found the novel flawlessly and exquisitely written, would she have admitted that in print? I doubt it. After all, I think she'd avoid saying anything positive about the book. What if a positive review tempted a child to read the book and then later decide to slice herself up? I highly doubt Gurdon would want that on her conscience.
What REALLY ticked me off was her baseless assumption that "it is also possible—indeed, likely—that books focusing on pathologies help normalize them and, in the case of self-harm, may even spread their plausibility and likelihood to young people who might otherwise never have imagined such extreme measures."
Okay, Meg--show me the scientific study that says that children who read books about "pathologies"--particularly kids who might otherwise never have imagined these things--decide to try these pathologies out.What? No study? No scientific evidence. You mean it's just your opinion? Perhaps you should say so.
FYI: Funny, I've been reading murder mysteries, thrillers, and true crime stories since the age of 12 and not once have I toyed with the idea of shooting, stabbing, or dismembering anyone. Neither have my children, who grew up with the dark YA novel denigrated in the article, not to mention reality TV and video games. Neither have the children of anyone I know. And, trust me, I know a heckuva lot of people.
I've heard many, many YA authors say, and I've said it myself, that we write the kind of stories we wish had been available to us as teens. We "older" authors understand that completely. Younger authors are fortunate to have been able to experience these new and challenging stories from the get-go. For the rest of us, there's still a passion for the newer, grittier, identifiable literature that stems from our being deprived it while growing up.
And by the way, you younger authors--how are you faring after being so inconsiderately exposed to all that "damage, brutality and losses of the most horrendous kinds"? From what I've seen, you seem to be doing just fine--and writing brilliantly. :)
As Laurie Halse Anderson reminds us: "YA literature saves lives. Every. Single. Day."
Never forget it.
ETA: I mistakenly named Lauren Myracle as the author of SCARS instead of Cheryl Rainfield, which amazes me after I made a point to read Rainfield's response to the WSJ article (and BLOGGED about her, no less). Thanks to those of you who pointed out the error.
Wednesday, June 8, 2011
WHY
...isn't there a way to upload photos here without messing with Photobucket? Cuz I am waaay too tired to do this right now.
Tuesday, June 7, 2011
Bummer
What sucks is that I can't "lock" any posts here to sure that only certain people can read them. Therefore, my juiciest posts remain over at LJ. Sorry, folks.
Monday, June 6, 2011
SCARS Author Speaks Out
Cheryl Rainfield's response to the WSJ article about "dark" YA which specifically mentioned her novel: "...SCARS, a dreadfully clunky 2010 exercise by Cheryl Rainfield that School Library Journal inexplicably called 'one heck of a good book,' ran into difficulties earlier this year at the Boone County Library in Kentucky, but not because of its contents. A patron complained that the book's depiction of cutting—the cover shows a horribly scarred forearm might trigger a sufferer's relapse..."
Though it was a patron who was concerned about the possibility relapse--and she may very well have simply been making conversation--the personal opinion of the article's author did not go unnoticed.
Though it was a patron who was concerned about the possibility relapse--and she may very well have simply been making conversation--the personal opinion of the article's author did not go unnoticed.
Sunday, June 5, 2011
The Dark Reality of YA Fiction
DARKNESS TOO VISIBLE (from the Wall Street Journal)
"How dark is contemporary fiction for teens? Darker than when you were a child, my dear: So dark that kidnapping and pederasty and incest and brutal beatings are now just part of the run of things in novels directed, broadly speaking, at children from the ages of 12 to 18.
"Pathologies that went undescribed in print 40 years ago, that were still only sparingly outlined a generation ago, are now spelled out in stomach-clenching detail. Profanity that would get a song or movie branded with a parental warning is, in young-adult novels, so commonplace that most reviewers do not even remark upon it..."
I was going to comment. But, frankly, I think I need time to absorb it.
Full article
Thoughts?
"How dark is contemporary fiction for teens? Darker than when you were a child, my dear: So dark that kidnapping and pederasty and incest and brutal beatings are now just part of the run of things in novels directed, broadly speaking, at children from the ages of 12 to 18.
"Pathologies that went undescribed in print 40 years ago, that were still only sparingly outlined a generation ago, are now spelled out in stomach-clenching detail. Profanity that would get a song or movie branded with a parental warning is, in young-adult novels, so commonplace that most reviewers do not even remark upon it..."
I was going to comment. But, frankly, I think I need time to absorb it.
Full article
Thoughts?
Friday, June 3, 2011
FRIDAY 5
1. I'm currently addicted to the Casey Anthony trial. Those who know me will not be shocked by this.
2. Eli will have his fence next month. I got several estimates from various companies, all the estimates were basically in the same range, so I picked the company who had the nicest salesman. :)
3. My younger brother Tommy and his fiancee Erin will be married tomorrow, so I have a wedding to go to! Now the trick is finding something to wear. Something that, er, fits, and doesn't look like it was designed by Omar the Tent Maker.
4. Also this weekend, I have a retirement party: Norm Solomon--who makes an appearance in The Unquiet--is retiring and moving to Israel. He will so be missed!
5. I haven't smoked in a month. Yeah, really. :D
2. Eli will have his fence next month. I got several estimates from various companies, all the estimates were basically in the same range, so I picked the company who had the nicest salesman. :)
3. My younger brother Tommy and his fiancee Erin will be married tomorrow, so I have a wedding to go to! Now the trick is finding something to wear. Something that, er, fits, and doesn't look like it was designed by Omar the Tent Maker.
4. Also this weekend, I have a retirement party: Norm Solomon--who makes an appearance in The Unquiet--is retiring and moving to Israel. He will so be missed!
5. I haven't smoked in a month. Yeah, really. :D
Thursday, June 2, 2011
Wednesday, June 1, 2011
Abducted by Facebook
Yes, it's true.
So my goal this month is to write something here every day.
This is my first post. Are you riveted with excitement?
?
?
?
Now?
So my goal this month is to write something here every day.
This is my first post. Are you riveted with excitement?
?
?
?
Now?
Wednesday, May 25, 2011
Neurotic, much?
Off to my (not) favorite place today: the dentist. I have a terrible habit of grinding my teeth. Because I do it while I'm awake, a dental guard's pretty useless. I do it generally when I'm under stress, which is 90% of the time. A few months ago my dentist stuck these thingies on my teeth, hopefully to keep the grinding at bay.
It worked...till I ground down the thingies, that is.
Back for more.
It worked...till I ground down the thingies, that is.
Back for more.
Saturday, May 21, 2011
Apocalypse NOT
Dear Lord,
As you well know, I have a book coming out next year. Therefore, I am not going anywhere. Nothing personal.
Amen,
JG
Thirty minutes left. Someone, quick--grab my ankles!
As you well know, I have a book coming out next year. Therefore, I am not going anywhere. Nothing personal.
Amen,
JG
Thirty minutes left. Someone, quick--grab my ankles!
Tuesday, May 17, 2011
WALKING THE WALK WHEN YOU WRITE
A (paraphrased) question I see all the time on message boards, in chats and on blogs, and in personal conversations:
“I recently completed a—” (usually first, but not always) “–novel and I’ve been revising and/or editing it for—” (X number of days, weeks, or months) “—and I’m to the point right now where I can’t look at it anymore. I want to take a break and work on—” (usually a brand new work they’ve been thinking about for a while) “—something else. What do you think?”
I think you're nuts.
OK, back up. :)
I've noticed that the majority of the time, the writer in question receives the following advice from others: Sure! Take a break! You deserve it. Go work on your Something Else for a while.
The rest the time, he talks to someone like me. And the answer I give usually isn’t the one he wants.
My Answer:
First of all, it’s always okay to take a break. Some writers burn out more quickly than others. After spending weeks and months revising, rewording, slashing, adding, and agonizing whether you’re making your story better or worse, it might be a good idea to step away for a while. However, keep in mind that, if you do step away, that first step immediately lands you on a very slippery slope.
This is why. Ask yourself the following questions:
What are the chances you WILL go back to that manuscript? How many previously unfinished projects do you have under your belt? Not necessarily writing projects. What is your history of following up on things? Because it's hard to believe you've gotten that far in your manuscript, and now you’re willing to quit because you’re tired of the work.
How many people do you know who have two, three, ten, or twenty unfinished manuscripts stashed in a drawer? Do you know why they have all those unfinished manuscripts? Because they either got bored with them, or because they realized too late how much mental labor (and time) is involved in thoroughly and effectively transforming a first draft into a final draft that's ready to to be shared with an agent or editor.
Are you serious about being published? Remember, writing is a profession. Some people write full-time, some part-time, some every now and then. Regardless of how often they're published, those who are successful begin a project and follow it through to the end. They don’t stop and start. They don’t jump from one thing to another to another, leaving a trail of unfinished projects in their wake.
Writing is a business, and a highly competitive one at that. It’s hard to break into, but obviously not impossible. You have to stop thinking like an amateur and start thinking like a pro, whether or not you’ve sold anything before. Otherwise you might as well resign yourself to writing as a hobby—which is fine, of course, if that’s all you want, and all you expect of yourself.
So aside from a brief break to regroup your thoughts, maybe do some brainstorming, or veg out in front of the TV with bonbons for a few hours—please, stop whining and go finish your manuscript!
Thursday, May 12, 2011
Stylish Blogger Award!
Thank you,
1. Thank and link to the person(s) who nominated you.
2. Share seven random facts about yourself.
3. Pass the award along to five blogging buddies.
4. Contact those buddies to congratulate them.
I am in turn passing this award along to:
So now that you're waiting with bated breath, here are the SEVEN RANDOM FACTS ABOUT ME.
1. I do not get sick. Well, occasionally (like this week) I might come down with something. But I’m fairly certain I could stroll through the typhoid and cholera wards of the world and never pick up a single bug. I’d survive a leper colony. I’ve had patients with active TB hocker right in my face and I still test negative. Co-workers may be be dropping like flies all around me, yet I remain unscathed. I don’t even catch colds. My resistance to germs is amazing, and it can't be because of the garlic cloves I carry around in my bra, because...
2. I rarely wear one. Yes, I realize I’m old. Yes, I realize this is no longer the 1960s. Yes, of course they’re no longer bright and perky and able to hold their own in an unexpected gale. But I. Do. Not. Like. Bras. In fact, I often wear layers to work to conceal the evidence. I mean, it'd not like I just let the old girls flop all over the place; I do have some sense of decorum, after all. And I do make exceptions. Regardless, Stacy and Clinton would never approve.
3. I do not carry grudges. Lucky for you, right? Because if you tick me off in April, chances are by June I won’t even remember the episode. The two exceptions to this are:
a. if you mess with my kids, or
b. if I desperately, desperately need a non-monetary favor from you, and it’s a favor I’ll gladly return a thousand-fold, and it doesn't occur to me that you’ll turn me down, and then your reason for blowing me off is, well, effen lame and SELFISH...then I might not feel too kindly toward you for a while. Years, even.
4. I don’t play games on the computer or on the TV because I know I'll become addicted. I don’t even test-drive them, so to speak. I had Tetris on an old WP once and that was all I did from dawn to dusk for, like, one year. It’s hard enough for me to stay away from message boards when I’m supposed to be writing.
5. I haven’t had a cigarette since Mother’s Day.
6. I don’t understand the rules of the English language. Seriously--I am such a poseur!!! I write, right? And I do it fairly well. I can string together a sentence that’s both grammatically and stylistically correct—but I can’t tell you why it’s correct. I can’t recite the rules. I can't even recite the list of prepositions I had to memorize in third grade. I couldn’t diagram a single sentence of this post if you bribed me with a crate of White Chocolate Lindor Truffles. It’s like, I can’t say for sure what’s wrong with that dress, because it not the hem length, or the cut, or the color, or the style; it's not even your figure. All I know is, that dress SUCKS on you. That’s how I tell if a sentence is wrong: it just doesn't work. You'll have to trust me that it sucks.
7. I am old enough now to sense my own mortality. I can't decide if that’s disturbing or liberating.
Sunday, May 8, 2011
The VOICE'S Dia
I'm so burned out on American Idol, I'm not even watching it this year. Until they limit the votes to a certain number per phone and eliminate any kind of computer dialing, there's no way the voting can be fair. How many of us have grown weary of seeing truly talented artists voted off in favor of the laughably inept? I have.
So, instead, I began watching THE VOICE: "...a vocal competition series modeled after Holland's top-rated vocal talent discovery show, The Voice of Holland. Hosted by Carson Daly, the show features four musician coaches: Christina Aguilera, Cee Lo Green, Adam Levine and Blake Shelton, who will coach only the most talented vocalists.
"The show's innovative format features three stages of competition: the first begins with the blind audition, then the competition enters into a battle phase, and finally, the live performance. The show's casting team is working with the music industry and searching the country for the best singers to bring to the blind audition process.* During the blind auditions, the decisions from the coaches are based solely on voice and not on looks.**"
*I don't know why I assumed these singers would be non-professionals. I guess if the "music industry" is involved, it stands to reason they aren't out there yanking folks off the street. They have Connections.
**Great premise, and what drew me to the show in the first place (thinking of the amazing Susan Boyle).
The show's contestants included a very talented young girl named Dia Framptom who told the host that she writes children's novels "on the side." Intrigued, I checked out her page on The Voice's website: "This 23-year-old singer-songwriter from St. George, Utah is half Korean and half Dutch. Her career aspiration has been to be a voice-over actress, but her considerable singing talents may just steer her elsewhere. A life-long bookworm, Dia also writes novels and children's books."
Further intrigued, I Googled her some more and couldn't find a single thing she'd written. However, I did find on her Wiki page that she is the lead singer in a band that includes her sister Meg, and others, and that they've recorded several albums, including one for Warner Bros. So this is how I really figured out why The Voice doesn't subject us to weeks of excruciating auditions, not to mention the profane, delusional ramblings of those who get kicked out. The Voice's singers are not newbies to the business. While I have no problem with that, I think the commercials for the show intentionally mislead viewers to believe that the contestants are not professional singers.
Well, that's fine. I still enjoyed the show. However, I wonder why contestant Dia didn't mention that she'd had previously record deals and some moderate success on the indie circuit?
She did, however, mention to the host that she wrote children's novels "on the side." The way she said it, it sounded as if she, yanno, really wrote books--as in having published books. I mean, I Googled her instantly because I admired her audition, and wondered what she'd written, if she had a website, a blog, etc.--and found squat about her writing, but plenty about her recording.
I wonder why, if writing is simply a hobby of Dia's--and what an awesome hobby, right?-- why not mention it as such? Then again, she never mentioned her record deals. What does this mean? That she is a professional singer posing as an amateur singer? A hobby writer posing as a professional writer? She doesn't mention a freaking album she recorded for Warner Bros....but she pretends to be in the publishing business?
Anyone else confused?
Who cares, right? :)
So, instead, I began watching THE VOICE: "...a vocal competition series modeled after Holland's top-rated vocal talent discovery show, The Voice of Holland. Hosted by Carson Daly, the show features four musician coaches: Christina Aguilera, Cee Lo Green, Adam Levine and Blake Shelton, who will coach only the most talented vocalists.
"The show's innovative format features three stages of competition: the first begins with the blind audition, then the competition enters into a battle phase, and finally, the live performance. The show's casting team is working with the music industry and searching the country for the best singers to bring to the blind audition process.* During the blind auditions, the decisions from the coaches are based solely on voice and not on looks.**"
*I don't know why I assumed these singers would be non-professionals. I guess if the "music industry" is involved, it stands to reason they aren't out there yanking folks off the street. They have Connections.
**Great premise, and what drew me to the show in the first place (thinking of the amazing Susan Boyle).
The show's contestants included a very talented young girl named Dia Framptom who told the host that she writes children's novels "on the side." Intrigued, I checked out her page on The Voice's website: "This 23-year-old singer-songwriter from St. George, Utah is half Korean and half Dutch. Her career aspiration has been to be a voice-over actress, but her considerable singing talents may just steer her elsewhere. A life-long bookworm, Dia also writes novels and children's books."
Further intrigued, I Googled her some more and couldn't find a single thing she'd written. However, I did find on her Wiki page that she is the lead singer in a band that includes her sister Meg, and others, and that they've recorded several albums, including one for Warner Bros. So this is how I really figured out why The Voice doesn't subject us to weeks of excruciating auditions, not to mention the profane, delusional ramblings of those who get kicked out. The Voice's singers are not newbies to the business. While I have no problem with that, I think the commercials for the show intentionally mislead viewers to believe that the contestants are not professional singers.
Well, that's fine. I still enjoyed the show. However, I wonder why contestant Dia didn't mention that she'd had previously record deals and some moderate success on the indie circuit?
She did, however, mention to the host that she wrote children's novels "on the side." The way she said it, it sounded as if she, yanno, really wrote books--as in having published books. I mean, I Googled her instantly because I admired her audition, and wondered what she'd written, if she had a website, a blog, etc.--and found squat about her writing, but plenty about her recording.I wonder why, if writing is simply a hobby of Dia's--and what an awesome hobby, right?-- why not mention it as such? Then again, she never mentioned her record deals. What does this mean? That she is a professional singer posing as an amateur singer? A hobby writer posing as a professional writer? She doesn't mention a freaking album she recorded for Warner Bros....but she pretends to be in the publishing business?
Anyone else confused?
Who cares, right? :)
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