Whining and Bored

I sincerely hope I never come down with a fatal disease. If I am THIS CRABBY with a simple head cold, I can't imagine how I'd behave if I were really sick.



I took a high-powered cold tablet at 1 p.m. yesterday. Next thing I knew it was dinnertime. I woke up feeling 100% better...and at midnight I was still awake. I finally went to sleep (after watching RED DRAGON for the sixty-eleventh time) and woke up at nine this morning feeling almost as crappy as I felt yesterday morning at this time.

I rarely get sick. In fact I brag about this on a regular basis. People can be dropping like flies all around me and I won't have so much as a sniffle. I always believed that working as nurse for so many years has given me an immune system of Herculean proportions. I've never had the flu in my entire adult life. This simple cold, however, has knocked me on my ass. Being knocked on my ass means I am bored beyond belief.

I don't do well with boredom, either. I once quit a job because I could pass meds on 45 patients without ever having to look at a chart.

So this morning I took a "non-drowsy" cold tablet instead. I swear if I sneeze one more time I'll splatter brain matter out my ears.

BOO!

FRIDAY 5

1. THE UNQUIET is available for pre-order on Amazon.

The official pub date looks like July 17th. :) :)

2.

3601 / 50000 words. 7% done!

3. Birthday party tonight.

4. SCBWI brunch tomorrow.

5. Q: How do you tell the difference between a gall bladder attack and a heart attack?
    A: When you wake up in the morning, you know it wasn't your heart.
    Ow, ow, ow.

Wendy Wunder's THE PROBABILITY OF MIRACLES

I was lucky enough to receive an ARC of this amazingly beautiful story:



THE PROBABILITY OF MIRACLES by Wendy Wunder (release date December 8, 2011)

From Amazon: Dry, sarcastic, sixteen-year-old Cam Cooper has spent the last seven years in and out hospitals. The last thing she wants to do in the short life she has left is move 1,500 miles away to Promise, Maine - a place known for the miraculous events that occur there. But it's undeniable that strange things happen in Promise: everlasting sunsets; purple dandelions; flamingoes in the frigid Atlantic; an elusive boy named Asher; and finally, a mysterious envelope containing a list of things for Cam to do before she dies. As Cam checks each item off the list, she finally learns to believe - in love, in herself, and even in miracles.

This is definitely one to keep your eye out for! Loved it, loved it.

Criminally Negligent WITHOUT A DOUBT

It's making me nuts to hear so many people say that Michael Jackson was an addict, and therefore responsible for his own death.

People. Michael Jackson doctor-shopped till he found someone--Conrad Murray--who agreed to give him GENERAL ANESTHESIA every night in his own bed. Every other medical practitioner he asked turned down this outrageous request. Why? Because propofol is NOT. EVER. GIVEN. outside of the O.R. or ICUs. It's unheard of. It's beyond comprehension.



Propofol is not a sleep aid. You are not "sleeping" when you are given this drug. YOU ARE UNCONSCIOUS. You need to be heavily monitored--vital signs, oxygenation, airway, EKG, etc.--NONE of which Dr, Murray had, other than a rinky-dink pulse ox machine anyone can buy online--because you can stop breathing at any moment.
You need emergency equipment: a breathing tube, emergency paddles, medications like epinephrine, etc. Again, none of which Dr. Murray had at hand. The fact that he was found doing CPR with Michael still on the bed instead of pulling him to the floor convinces me he wouldn't have known what to do with the paddles if he had them.

Before undergoing anesthesia, you're aren't allowed to eat after midnight because you can vomit while unconscious and aspirate it into your lungs. You also have to sign a release, saying you understand the dangers. This is called informed consent. Michael should have read and signed this paper every single night.

Dr. Murray rendered Michael unconscious every night for weeks, He did not keep ONE SINGLE NOTE that entire time. Can you imagine visiting your own doctor even for a routine checkup and he doesn't write one single thing down--ever?

Then, one morning, Michael stops breathing while under this general anesthetic (i.e. unconscious) while Dr. Murray was out of the room for God knows how long. What would you do if you found someone unresponsive? The same thing any FOUR-YEAR-OLD CHILD has already been taught to do: Call 911. NOT waste valuable time on the phone blabbing to a bunch of other people, one of whom did call 911...not Dr. Murray. He then proceeded to throw out as much stuff as he could (aided by someone who testified in court) and never bothered to mention "propofol" to the emergency room doctors.

This doctor is so grossly and criminally negligent on so many levels, there aren't enough words to describe it.

To those who insist MJ miraculously regained consciousness long enough to administer his own fatal overdose...even if this is true (which defies logic, IMO) what difference does it make? Dr, Murray was ultimately responsible. He brought the drugs to him. Addict or not, Michael did not deserve to die in this awful manner, with his children nearby.

This is not the first time someone's been prosecuted for supplying an addict with drugs. Remember John Belushi?

"Cathy Smith stupidly gave an interview to the National Enquirer admitting that she shot Belushi up. She was re-arrested, and had to serve 18 months in prison for this little escapade." THE DEATH OF JOHN BELUSHI

Michael did not insert that needle into his own (leg) vein. Like Belushi, he had help--not from a fellow addict, but by a licensed physician who once took a vow to DO NO HARM.



RIP, Michael. You were loved.

RANDOM MONDAY

1. I've had a pathetic start to NaNo:

1246 / 50000 words. 2% done!

...but actually a very good excuse because I was revising a few pages of my wip (THE UNBIDDEN) after getting excellent feedback from Tina. This is by no means a "done deal"--but I'm keeping my fingers crossed.

P.S. If anyone wants to join me on NaNoWriMo, my user name is JenG.

2. Creepy movies I've seen recently:

TV: THE RITE with Anthony Hopkins. Personally I loved it, as long as I didn't stop to analyze all the theological stuff.



Theater: PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 3

The first one was decent. The second one sucked. But THIS one--



--scared the LIVING HELL out of me!

3. What I did this morning: tried to shake off a migraine. Yeah, a bad one. Luckily I got a vacation day so I didn't have use a sick day or--worse--drag myself in high on codeine and butalbital. The census is down because, swear to God, all my patients get their disability checks the first of the month and they're out blowing their money right now.

4. What I am doing right now: waiting for the verdict in the Michael Jackson death trial. I'm guessing he's guilty, though, after Casey Anthony, nothing will surprise me.

5. What I am doing later: hopefully, writing. :)

If You Need a Word Meter

...just click:

0 / 50000 words. 0% done!

GOOD LUCK!

HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

I posted an article on FB recently that supposedly "explains" away symptoms of a haunted house.

It was pretty funny. I don't think it was meant to be.

From ages 5 through 9 I lived in an ancient old house on the west side of Cleveland. Creepy, lots of dark wood, and a cellar with rats. Yes, rats.

That was not the house that was haunted, however. My haunted house was the cute little suburban bungalow I lived in after that, till I graduated from nursing school and moved out on my own.

The article said--ridiculously enough--that doors that shut by themselves are aided by "drafts." That doesn't explain how a door that slams shut can, a moment later, open again on its own.

Footsteps you hear are supposedly caused by the "settling" of the house. Oh, yes--because the settling of a house sounds exactly like someone walking up and down the hall directly over your head. Not. Any idiot knows the difference.

The article also didn't explain how, when you are alone in the basement, a hand can reach out and gently squeeze your shoulder.

Or how a sound can repeatedly sweep through your house, a high-pitched, almost electrical wail--a sound that you never heard before and never experienced since.

Or how a voice can wake you up out of a sound sleep to the glowing image at the foot of your bed.

You either believe or you don't believe. But no one can explain it away. Those who haven't experienced it really shouldn't try.

Thankful Thursday

I am thankful that I have two adult kids living at home who work full-time, don't come home drunk or high, ask me for money, party all night, or talk to me like I'm an idiot.

I LOVE YOU GUYS!



P.S. These are not my children. I just like the picture.

A Thought on Validation

Lauren Myracle on the NBA fiasco.

Lauren says of her intense disappointment: “…it's just one more reminder not to be so invested in validation from external sources.”

So very true. Yet, as writers, from the moment we begin to put words on a page, that same validation is exactly what we crave. Validation from our first readers. From agents. From editors at publishing houses. From friends, family, and peers. From reviewers. Does it ever end? Sometimes we need to take a step back and feast, gratefully, on our accomplishments—whether it's our writing, or something else...whether humble or heroic—instead of depending so much on the praise and opinions of others.

Best, best comment ever from @librarianlost: “Husband thinks Abrams should make sticker for cover that reads: Erroneously Nominated for NBA."

Still smiling at that one. :-)

My AWESOME Box of Books!

ENVY (arc) by Gregg Olsen
DIRTY LITTLE SECRETS by C.J. Omololu
AFTER OBSESSION by Carrie Jones and Steven E. Wedel
WHERE THE TRUTH LIES, BREATHLESS, and BETWEEN by Jessica Warman
BETWEEN THE SEA AND SKY by Jaclyn Dolamore
SEAN GRISWOLD'S HEAD by Lindsey Leavitt
THE PROBABILITY OF MIRACLES (arc) by Wendy Wunder
AFTER THE KISS by Terra Elan McVoy
HAUNTING VIOLET by Alyxandra Harvey
SMALL TOWN SINNERS by Melissa Walker
SUGAR AND ICE by Kate Messner
THE MAPMAKER AND THE GHOST by Sarvenaz Tash
TAKING OFF by Jenny Moss

Methodical Elimination of Suckage

I love when someone can read my wip and totally open my eyes to the suckage. :) (Thank you, Tina)

So I'm currently rewriting 100 pages and trying to go in a completely different direction. I can tell already it's the right decision.

Hopefully I can get through this revision before November 1st, because you know what November 1st is, don't you?

With Borders now gone *sob* I've been writing at Panera. The good thing about Panera's is free coffee refills.



The bad thing about Panera is the food. Cuz it's everywhere. Lots of it.

My faves:


Tuna sandwich


French onion soup


Danish


CINNAMON CRUNCH BAGELS!

Maybe I should switch to the library...

Un-F***ing-Believable

Libba Bray tells it like it is. Hats off to Lauren Myracle for defining the word "class."

ENVY by Gregg Olsen

LOOK AT THIS COVER!

How can anyone resist it???



ENVY by Gregg Olsen

From Amazon: New York Times bestselling adult true crime author Gregg Olsen makes his YA debut with EMPTY COFFIN, a gripping new fiction series for teens based on ripped-from-the-headlines stories…with a paranormal touch.

Crime lives--and dies--in the deceptively picture-perfect town of Port Gamble (aka “Empty Coffin”), Washington. Evil lurks and strange things happen--and 15-year-olds Hayley and Taylor Ryan secretly use their wits and their telepathic “twin-sense” to uncover the truth about the town's victims and culprits.

Envy, the series debut, involves the mysterious death of the twins' old friend, Katelyn. Was it murder? Suicide? An accident? Hayley and Taylor are determined to find out--and as they investigate, they stumble upon a dark truth that is far more disturbing than they ever could have imagined.

Based on the shocking true crime about cyber-bullying, Envy will take you to the edge--and push you right over.

Reading the ARC now!

Friday 5

1. I guess the subtle change in my hair color is too subtle to...um, notice. :(

2. How can anyone be this excited about rewriting 100 pages?

3. Yes, I am going to THE 7 FLOORS OF HELL!



4. Current read: WHERE THE TRUTH LIES by Jessica Warman



5. Working all weekend...see you guys next week!

:) :) :)

BEST

PERK

OF

BEING AN AUTHOR:

FREE BOOKS!!!

I kid you not. Total awesomeness. I'm still blown away when someone sends me a book of the blue. Getting a box of them is just like Christmas! :)

Dirty Little Secrets

OK, so I go from a meh book to a WOW book in less than a week:

DIRTY LITTLE SECRETS by C.J. Omololu:



From Amazon: Everyone has a secret. But Lucy's is bigger and dirtier than most. It's one she's been hiding for years-that her mom's out-of-control hoarding has turned their lives into a world of garbage and shame. Tackling an increasingly discussed topic that is both fascinating and disturbing, C. J. Omololu weaves an hour-by-hour account of Lucy's desperate attempt to save her family. Readers join Lucy on a path from which there is no return, and the impact of hoarding on one teen's life will have them completely hooked.

I was hooked, from page one, and read it in one day.

Now, if you'll excuse me, I gotta go clean something...

Grape Rating
Full bunch: X
Half bunch:
Single grape:
Stem:

Stolen Innocence

I generally don't do book reviews because I hate knocking someone else's book. Yeah, I know. Luckily most books I read are pretty good. STOLEN INNOCENCE looked interesting, and it was one of the first ones I downloaded on my Nook.



"This is the shocking, timely, and inspirational memoir of Elissa Wall, the former member of the FLDS polygamist sect whose powerful courtroom testimony helped convict controversial sect leader Warren Jeffs in September 2007. Detailing how Jeffs forced her into an unwanted marriage at age 14, Elissa speaks candidly about the horrifying reality she faced as a young teenager in a devastating marriage to a man five years her senior. But what began as tragic tale of forced marriage quickly descended into madness, as Elissa's troubled relationship spiraled out of control before her vows were even spoken.The end result of the union was a nightmare of rape and abuse that Elissa suffered at the hands of her Church-appointed husband and in the name of God. Offering an unfettered glimpse into the world of the FLDS she explains how the confines of her dangerous marriage and surroundings left her with few options. Pushed out of her home by abuse, she began living in her car to avoid the crushing realities of her situation. And yet somehow, in face of this bleak reality, she never gave up on the hope that she would some day find a way out. But though Elissa won her freedom from the FLDS, she had yet to earn her victory, and here she illustrates how she used her newfound freedom to put Warren Jeffs behind bars."

However, it took me ages to get through it. And, to me, it's a pretty good example of how not to write a memoir.

Boring. Boring.

Did I mention...boring?

Under the Drill

Two holes in my teeth. No kidding. I knew I was in trouble when my nicotine gum started to crunch. Then, 2 weeks later, a filling fell out right in the middle of a cinnamon bagel.

My dentist loves me. Got an appointment this morning.

CONTAGION

This movie should be listed under When Multiple Points of View Don't Work:

CONTAGION



I give it a C+. There was one annoying character, a woman on the Let's Figure Out What To Do About This Disease committee (a CDC employee?) who was SUCH a PIA and so obnoxious that I prayed throughout the whole movie that she'd catch the PigBat disease. If I'd been allowed to her see convulsing and frothing at the mouth, I'd have happily elevated this movie to a B.

Like THE DEBT, this was another plot-driven film with little or no attention given to character development. You've probably deduced by now that I don't care for plot-driven movies. But the real reason it gets a C+ is because, after a strong beginning, the movie lagged. More than once I'd find myself thinking I hope something happens pretty soon. Then something would happen. Yay. Then it would lag again. If you're going to rely on PLOT, then by all means make the PLOT holds people's attention. The techno-babble bored me, I'm a nurse, for pete's sake.

I can't complain (for once) about the medical scenes. I thought, unlike 99.9% of others, these were very well done, although doctors don't generally stand in the middle of the hall and tell someone their loved ones have died. I let that one slide.

(By the way, did anyone who didn't know Matt Damon was in this film actually recognize Matt Damon? I didn't. He looks heavier in the movie, and--because he had nothing to smile about--his teeth didn't give him away. When I got home my husband was watching THE BOURNE IDENTITY and I thought, oh yeah--that's Matt Damon. To me, it's actually a plus when I don't recognize the actors).

So you've got a bunch of characters running around, either coming down with the disease or trying to stop the disease, and not nearly enough time spent on each one. And although this might sounds mean and shallow, all those incredibly close close-ups of Laurence Fishburn's complexion were extremely distracting. Hello! Makeup department? Can you do nothing for this man?

Finally, I was extremely ticked off because they never showed what happened to Marion Cotillard's character at the end. The best character? Jude Law, a rogue blogger with hideous (and so obviously prosthetic) teeth. He was awesome!

P.S. Best line in the movie: "Blogging is graffiti with punctuation." :)

Dear Live Journal

WHY don't my links work anymore?

Between this and all all your

I see why people are giving up and moving to Wordpress.

I pay you twenty bucks a year and I'm not sure why.

Sincerely,

A dissatisfied customer

A Wednesday Ramble...

Now that my Borders cafe is gone, I've been spending time at Panera's trying to get some writing done. The problem with Panera's is, they...

Serve. Food.

Dammit.

I'm chewing nicorette gum like crazy which doesn't really help my TMJ, but writing without cigarettes is like dancing without feet. At least I don't have bad breath.

I'm working on a proposal for a sequel to THE UNQUIET. It's iffy, but I figured I'd give it a shot. My self-imposed deadline personal writing goal is to have this wrapped up by the end up the month. Then I can look forward to...

TA-DAH!

NATIONAL NOVEL WRITING MONTH!

Both SAY THE WORD and THE UNQUIET started out as NaNo novels. I'm going to try for a third. I don't know if it'll be this one, or something else. Anyone else doing NaNo? Huh? Pretty please?

Also, I'm still on my movie kick. Beth just found two movies we've been eager to see, and ordered them online. Probably no one has heard of them but us:

SUNDAYS AND CYBELE:



and

BONJOUR TRISTESSE:



Probably next weekend we'll see CONTAGION and then maybe take a break for a bit before all this buttered popcorn gives us twin attacks. :)

Movie Blather

Yesterday I was going to post my own memory of 9/11/01. But it so paled in comparison to those who actually experienced it, I decided to watch the memorial instead.


Then, to cheer up a bit, I went to the movies (AGAIN) and saw THE DEBT.







I mean, it's Helen Mirren, right?


Please. I gave it a B-minus because it kept my interest, i.e. I didn't snore through half the film. But about 2/3 of the way through I thought, Isn't this about over yet? That's never a good sign. Not with a movie. Not with a book.



I will try to avoid spoliers, but what is a spoiler to you might not be a spoiler to me, lol.


My # 1 problem was that there was no character development. The movie was driven by the plot and nothing else. Who were these three people who wanted to capture the Nazi doctor? We knew they were Jewish, that they lost family in the Holocaust.


But WHO. WERE. THEY? I had no fricking idea, which made it really, really hard to care what happened to them.


# 2: Who was this Nazi doctor? OK, anyone can guess that he was based on Josef Mengele. Near the beginning, one character skimmed through a few photos of children's corpses, presumably victims of the doctor's vicious experiments. We get no further look into what this doctor actually did, or who HE was. I'm not saying we needed another half-hour of flashbacks detailing this man's crimes. But, for me, a couple of photos didn't do it. He was OBVIOUSLY evil, and that certainly came through, so maybe the writers didn't feel it necessary to add anything else. It's just that I felt no connection to these photos; they seemed almost incidental. Frankly, given the lack of anything else to make me hate this doctor--aside from my knowledge of history and the doctor's repellent personality--the pics themselves could've been left out.


# 3: I am SO SURE anyone would believe a demented old man in a mental hospital when he says he is the Butcher of Buchenwald--let alone a journalist who, like everyone else IN THE WHOLE FREAKING WORLD, believes the doctor was killed back in 1965.


# 4: The older versions of the male characters looked nothing like the younger versions. Worse, the two guys kind of looked alike to me. Fire the casting director.


# 5: The chick (in the apartment) had a GUN. Why didn't she keep it handy? Stupid, and not very believable considering who she was, what she was trying to accomplish, and who her prisoner was. She's no Clarice Starling, that's for sure.


# 5: I found last 15 minutes of the film to be totally unbelievable.



Still, I watched it, was mostly not bored, and if you like thriller/espionage/post-Holocaust films with Helen Mirren and a couple of plot holes, go see it. :)

THE UNQUIET Revealed

Yes, I know it's a Saturday and hardly anyone will see this...but here is the final cover for THE UNQUIET.






Thank you, thank you to Melissa Marr and Lisa McMann for the following blurbs:

“Filled with romance, madness, and dangerous ghosts, Garsee’s THE UNQUIET is a haunting read you shouldn’t miss.” Melissa Marr, New York Times bestselling author of WICKED LOVELY.

"THE UNQUIET is a swirling, marvelous journey into madness...or out of it. You decide." Lisa McMann, New York Times bestselling author of the WAKE trilogy and CRYER'S CROSS.



:) :) :)

We Are Never Alone

Happy Book Birthday to everyone who helped make DEAR BULLY: 70 AUTHORS TELL THEIR STORIES a reality. A special thanks to Megan Kelley Hall and Carrie Jones for all their hard work. YOU GUYS ROCK! Words can't describe how proud I am to be a part of this project.

After I sat down and read it from beginning to end, I realized something: I could identify with almost every single story.

Bullied and ostracized? Of course. I was there. But that's only the tip of the iceberg.

Teased because I was new to a school? Been there. Because I was fat? Been there. Because I was "different"? Been there.

Riddled with guilt because I watched someone else be bullied and didn't speak up out of fear of becoming the next target? Been there.

Trying to stand up for myself, only to have my complaints either ignored, minimized, or ridiculed by a teacher? Yes, it happened.

Saying something mean to someone else for no other reason except that person was there, and vulnerable, and an easy target? Yes, been there, too. And no, I'm not proud of it. It bothered me for years and I've never forgiven myself. If I had a way to contact that person and apologize, I'd do it in a heartbeat. In fact I often wondered if the reason I was later bullied myself was nothing but simple karmic payback.

Having my heart broken when I realized my own child was also a victim of bullying? Torn between whether or not to step in, or allow him/her to work it out by themselves out of fear that the bullying will only get worse...and worse...?

Yes. I've been there. And that's a terrible dilemma to be in.

There is a story for everyone, because bullying happens everywhere, to everyone, in many different ways. It's time for all of us--without exception--to take a stand and say NO MORE.

We are not alone. We are not alone.

Each and every story touched my heart. Thank you, all of you, from the very bottom of that heart.

Please Help A Library in Desperate Need

A casualty of the floods: Kate Messner's Blog: A Library in Need.

Time A-wastin'

Thanks for your supportive comments below. I was in a slump when I wrote it. I actually still in that same slump, but dealing a bit better. I'm sure I do have some kind of attention deficit disorder, totally undiagnosed because I've been smoking all this years. It's frustrating as hell, but it won't get the best of me. So. What have I been doing while I've NOT been writing? Well, aside from work, I did see three movies in the past couple weeks:

THE HELP, based on Kathryn's Stockett's novel.

If you haven't seen the movie, see it. If you haven't read the book, read it!

Then there's FRIGHT NIGHT:



Please. $24 for two tickets because it's a 3-D movie? Me: "Goody, goody. What, we're paying for the glasses?" Beth: "You gave to give the glasses back." Me: "Bull****. I'm keeping 'em." I didn't. The thing about 3-D is, it's a whole lot of fun when you're, um, ten years old. This was an R-rated movie. Adults generally don't care one way or another if something's 3-D. We also don't think it's cool to sit there for 2 hours with those funny-colored glasses crammed down over our own glasses. If I'd known about the jacked-up price in advance, I'd have skipped the whole thing. It wasn't that great, and the CGI effects were nothing compared to the effects in the original.

Next: DON'T BE AFRAID OF THE DARK:



Another CGI bomb. Remember the original with Kim Darby? OMG, that one scared the crap out of me. I still can't sleep with my arms or feet hanging off the bed. This version had one good scare. The rest involved little CGI creatures running around and causing great havoc for one of the stupidest families in cinematic history.

REMAKES SUCK. Being a horror movie buff, though, I couldn't resist.

Now I'm waiting impatiently for PARANORMAL ACTIVITY 3.

!!!!!!!

My lack of concentration and creativity (i.e. I've written SQUAT in almost 4 months) as well as my total neglect of this blog seems to be directly related to my currently nicotine-less state.

This is no lie.

Scary.

A Random Act of Idiocy

Last Thursday morning, I backed my car out of my driveway and almost hit a blue van parked at the curb directly opposite my driveway.

Hint to People Who Park on the Street: If you must park on the street, it's considered very bad form to park across from somebody's driveway. This makes it a royal PIA to back out, especially when you live on a dinky, narrow street like mine. So if you must park on the street, please avoid the driveways.

Why do I even have to explain this to anyone?

OK, it was no big deal. I braked in time, murmured a certain cuss word, backed all the way out, and went on my merry way.

That blue van sat there all day. And all night. And all day Friday. And all of Friday night.

Now all this time I am creeping slowwwwly out of my driveway several times a day, cutting sharply, running over my tree lawn and narrowly missing my mail box, all so I don't bump that stupid blue van. Everyone knows when a car bumps a van, it's the car that generally gets the bad end of the bargain. And it would be considered my fault.

I am also pissed because there happens to be A LAW that says cars can't be parked on the street overnight. I know this law exists because someone visiting ME once got a ticket for parking out there overnight.

Still the van sits. I don't know who it belongs to. By Saturday morning I'm so sick of creeping around, I finally call the non-emergency police number to complain. "It's been there 24/7 for the past three days and it's IN. MY. WAY."

Police: "Do they have permission?"

Me: "How would I know if they have permission?"

Police: "Well, if it's out there now, they're not breaking any laws."

Well, of course not. Because now it's the middle of the day. BUT IT'S ANNOYING ME.

Me: "Well, then please send someone out in the middle of the night when they are breaking a law. After all, you ticketed a friend of ours for parking out there one night."

Police: "We'll send someone out to check on it tonight."

Me: (I bet)

Sunday morning the blue van is still there. No ticket on the windshield. Not even a warning. WTF?

Sunday night, as I back out with Beth on our way to the mall, I come very, very close to hitting that damn thing again. Maybe if I had a Rio it wouldn't be such a big deal, but I drive an Impala. And maybe my depth perception isn't all that it used to be.

This time I don't just mumble the cuss word. I shriek it. I don't care if I have to set my alarm, I'm gonna call the police at three a.m. and demand them come out and TICKET THE DAMN CAR. Maybe I can complain of a bad odor...yeah, yeah! That'd work! After all, it's clearly abandoned. Who knows what's in it?

If I get no satisfaction then, I swear I will go from door to door till I find out who owns that freaking blue van, and insist they move it--at gunpoint, if necessary. My nerves are shot. My mind has cracked. If I have to back out around that FREAKING BLUE VAN ONE MORE TIME I will make CNN: Suburban Woman's Violent Rampage Stuns Neighbors.

I consider letting the air out of the tires. Hahahahaha. After all, if nobody's gonna drive it...EVER...what's the difference?

Beth: "Mom, that's vandalism."

Me: "Heh, heh. Just kidding..."

I'm truthfully on the edge of a nervous breakdown.

Miraculously, when we return, the blue van is GONE! Oh happy day. I notice it two doors down, sitting in a neighbor's driveway. I don't know these people (it's a rental house) or why they chose not to use their own driveway for four days, or why they had to park their car nowhere near their own house--but at least I now know where the blue van belongs in case they pull this BS again.

And guess what? NOW IT'S BLOCKING THE SIDEWALK!

Good/Bad

Good: I finished my copy edits at last.

Bad: I'm looking over my proposal and not feeling it right now.

Good: My house is finally cleaned up from the flood.

Bad: It might be clean but it looks like hell. Like it recently flooded or something.

Good: No more flooding, thank goodness.

Bad: But, at the moment, I am glued to my window, watching the lake in my back yard spread closer and closer toward my house. Thunder and lightning. Sheets of rain. I remember loving this when I was a kid. How things have changed.

Good: I have a steady, good-paying job that I'm pretty good at.

Bad: Otherwise, it sucks. I'm talking a why-not-just-give-up-and-and-a-nervous-breakdown kind of suckage. Or how-much-longer-must-I-endure-this-infinite-bullshit kind of suckage.

Good: I haven't gained any weight.

Bad: I haven't lost any weight--and they're building a Dunkin Donuts nearby.

Good: I have a great haircut.

Bad: My blow dyer died. Do you know how hard it is to get used to a new one? Or is it just me?

Good: I'm still not smoking.

Bad: My teeth are probably rotting from the Nicorette.

Surprise Package!

Someone sent me an ARC of THE SHATTERING by Karen Healy.

"Seventeen-year-old Keri likes to plan for every possibility. She knows what to do if you break an arm, or get caught in an earthquake or fire. But she wasn't prepared for her brother's suicide, and his death has left her shattered with grief. When her childhood friend Janna tells her it was murder, not suicide, Keri wants to believe her. After all, Janna's brother died under similar circumstances years ago, and Janna insists a visiting tourist, Sione, who also lost a brother to apparent suicide that year, has helped her find some answers.

As the three dig deeper, disturbing facts begin to pile up: one boy killed every year; all older brothers; all had spent New Year's Eve in the idyllic town of Summerton. But when their search for the serial killer takes an unexpected turn, suspicion is cast on those they trust the most.

As secrets shatter around them, can they save the next victim? Or will they become victims themselves?"

Who could have done such a nice thing for me?:)