Monday, August 31, 2009
Thursday, August 27, 2009
2. Thank you all for the new Amazon/Goodreads/Blog reviews!!
3. Thank you to the beta readers so far who've agreed to read my paranormal.
4. Thank God for Beth, trapped for hours and hours and hours with the boisterous, sock-eating, face-slobbering, furniture-jumping, butter-licking, toe-chewing, hair-pulling, shoe-grabbing, TV-barking, constantly-attention-seeking monster known as Elijah so Mom can write in peace.
5. Thank you, Rinn, for letting me finish your story. But seriously, girl--99,000 words???
XOX to all!!!
Wednesday, August 26, 2009
1. If you post a review on Amazon before September 1st you'll be entered in a drawing for a signed copy. Fear not: currently posted reviews of STW are automatically entered!
2. To increase your chances of winning, you can post your review on Goodreads, too.
3. Also, any new reviews of BEFORE, AFTER, AND SOMEBODY IN BETWEEN posted on Amazon between now and September 1st will further up your chances of winning a copy of STW.
4. When you post your review, simply e-mail me at jjgarsee at aol dot com and include the link(s).
PS Now that Amazon is letting me post reviews (yeah, we had "issues") I'm going to start posting some of my own, too. I have stack of 'em! :)
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
Friday, August 14, 2009
Thursday, August 13, 2009
2. Sarah Darer Littman mentioned me on her Magical Mystery Tour!
3. See Eli staked out in backyard. See nosy little Yorkie run in our yard, yap-yap-yapping, like: "Ha, ha, you're tied up and I'm not, la-la-la!" See Eli do his monster sized WOOF! WOOF! WOOF! and catapult after the shocked Yorkie, dragging the stake behind him, and chasing Yorkie straight back to his own house. Yorkie may be traumatized for life. Eli appears quite proud of himself. Not sure if the stake survived the ordeal.
4. I'm about 1/4 way through my hard copy revisions. I love Rinn's world. I want Rinn to make me rich. Light candles! :)
5. The problem with having a relative with Alzheimers is that she calls me twenty times a day because she doesn't remember the first 19 times she called. Yet she remembers the number. Go figure.
Off to Borders or I won't get anything done!
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
Those of you who refuse to cooperate will be bound and gagged with your eyelids clamped open (think A Clockwork Orange) and planted in front of Headline News.
You will then be forced to watch only ONE CONTINUOUS NEWS STORY.
Luckily you have 2 choices:
Monday, August 10, 2009
Your social life (??????) could suffer today because you aren't eager to spend your valuable time engaged in lighthearted banter (gossip and conspiracy issues) or playful games (umm...) that distract you from your real purpose (which is finishing this novel). It's not that you don't know how to have a good time; it's just that you would rather enjoy yourself when the pressure of unfulfilled obligations wasn't (<--is that the right tense?) weighing on your shoulders. There's no need for long explanations; just let others know that you'll be ready for fun soon enough.
"I'll be ready for fun soon enough." By 2010 for SURE.
Sunday, August 9, 2009
Saturday, August 8, 2009
Like talk on blue tooths behind you in line at Starbucks, so when you turn around and go "Pardon me?" and they keep on blabbing, you decide they're schizophrenic and quite clearly off their meds, so you quickly step a safe distance away.
Then you notice the blue tooth and wanna punch 'em in the nose.
Yeah, I'm cranky. I've been cranky since a trip to the grocery store (Big Bird) yesterday. Ticked off from moment I parked my car. NOT in the "expectant mothers" space, either. Because it was taken.
1. Before I even get through the doors there's somebody standing there blocking my way. WHY are you standing in the freaking doorway? Did you forget if you're coming in or going out? You don't have a cart. GET OUT OF MY WAY!
2. Two-for-the-price-of-one dog toys--and there was only one left. Ask me if I bought it. Elijah would love it. It didn't occur to me till later that they'd probably charge me half price. But seeing that TWO FOR THE PRICE OF ONE sign with only ONE TOY LEFT ticked me off. So I bought a different toy instead.
Which Eli ignores.
3. I love when I grab a food item out of a case, turn around to put it in my cart, and--you guessed it--someone ELSE is blocking my way. Standing right between me and my cart. Why are YOU in my way? I should wear a T-shirt: "PLEASE NO NOT SNEAK UP ON THE PSYCH NURSE." Does the term "boundaries" mean anything to these people?
4. The whole wheat bread I like (I lost 13 pounds since switching to whole grain and shedding my Mrs. Butterton habit of using one stick per bagel) was over $3 a loaf. I....don't....THINK....so!!!
5. The self-serve check-out lines were full (that figures) so I moved to an EMPTY full-serve one. The cashier dude looks 14.
"Did you find everything?"
What if I said "Oh, no, wait! I need a box of Depends--can you grab one for me?" would he leave his post? Fact: I am standing in line. Obviously I found everything or I'd still be wandering the aisles listening to Barry Manilow.
He rings up one item--then says "I'll be right back" and rushes off. In the middle of ringing me up!
Stand, wait, tap my foot. Dude returns after a couple minutes which is a damn long time when you're standing in line.
Uh-huh. So he rings up most of my stuff, and pauses at the dog toy. He picks it up. He holds it up to the light. He shakes it. He studies it. He does everything but lick it.
"Uh, it's a dog toy?" I mean, jeex, there's even a picture of a doggy on the label, in case you can't tell by looking at it.
"What's it do?"
"It's a toy."
"Yeah, but what's it do?"
"I may never know."
Whoosh! Right over his head. He shakes it again and throws it in a bag. THEN he commits the mortal sin of asking me if I want my milk in a bag. I liked it better when they'd say "Paper or Plastic?" because then I could stand there and look at the plastic bags, then the paper bags, then the plastic bags again, and ask "Mmm, I don't know...which is better?" just to see what they'd say. Now it's all plastic. Helloooooo, mighty landfills.
T-shirt #2: YES I WANT MY FREAKING MILK IN A BAG!
(I admit I kind of obsess over this "milk-in-a-bag" thing)
He finishes ringing me up, takes 15 seconds to count out the right change, and says, "Come again!" Yeah, hopefully on his day off.
So I was cranky yesterday, and cranky today, and I'll probably be crankycrankycranky till my next day off so I can get back to work on my second revision. I think that's Tuesday.
Or maybe Wednesday.
Thursday, August 6, 2009
Did you guess that I finished the first round of revisions today? Tomorrow I'll print it out, proof-read (haha) and edit by hand, then make the changes and send it off to my betas.
Who will die when they see it. Seriously: one hundred and eight thousand words?????
OK, on the plus side: that's still > 10,000 fewer words than Twilight.
On the minus side: that's almost as freakin' LONG as Twilight!
Somehow I need to knock off another 8,000.
My agent says a book is as long as it needs to be. She'll change her tune when her printer explodes.
I need Twizzlers bad. Or Tums. Or Twizzler-flavored Tums.
Excuse me. I have to go take out a loan to print this out at CopyMax. After my Valium.
1. I believe it's perfectly okay to blow off revisions to spend a couple of hours blabbing with a friend. :)
*waving to Susan Taylor Brown*
2. Fellow LJer Sarah Darer Littman was sweet enough to take time out from her vacation to have breakfast with me and sign her book:
Thanks again, Sarah!
3. Our power went out yesterday evening. Instant panic: HOW CAN I WORK ON MY REVISIONS? I have a P.O.S. battery on my laptop that lasts, like, a nanosecond. I couldn't watch TV. I couldn't even cook dinner (wait, wait, that's on the PLUS side) so I ran out to Chipotle's for a barbacoa burrito which not only is not on my diet, but it ripped my stomach to shreds. I ended up reading while daylight held out, then fell asleep with my iPod in my ears. At 8:00 p.m, I might add, which is why I've been up since 4:25 a.m.
4. No more day care for Elijah this week b/c there's a massive virus going around. I swear this is exactly like day care for your kids (only cheaper). Any time you get a bunch of warm bodies together in one place, sooner or later there's an epidemic of something involving rampant body fluids.
5. I've been off work this week and diligently working on revisions. I have about 20 pages left, the hardest 20 pages of the entire ms. Then I'll print it off to re-revise by hand and proofread at the same time. Right now it's a heart-stopping 108k--an improvement from the original count count, but still huge.
I have three of these--one leading upstairs, one leading downstairs, and one on kitchen door #1. Kitchen door #2 has a smaller wooden gate that Elijah can jump over, so I added a bunch of junk to block it off. That makes FOUR GATES with bars in a 500 square foot area which I believe makes my house the first split-level cell block evvahh.
OK, I'm advertising this place because I love it: dog and cat owners, check out PET EDGE. You can't beat the prices, (though the shipping rates on these gates just about killed me; however, they're worth--every--penny).
Now if I can only get him to take a dump in the yard. Yeah, Elijah seems to be laboring under the delusion that the backyard is an "extension" of his house, so naturally he doesn't want to do the dirty deed there. I'll haul him around the yard, begging "Please poop! Please poop!" while he sniffs and eats grass and barks at the doxie two yards away. Eventually he'll drag me all the way to the end of the street where he'll dump on a neighbor's lawn--inevitably at the house of the two NOISY beagles he loves to harass--"Ha-ha, I crapped on your territory, you pyscho morons!"--and then I can schelp it back home in a plastic bag. A backpack is next on my wish list: "Here, mutt. Carry it home yourself."