Monday, April 30, 2007

Gearing Up!

This is precisely what I need: Newport2Newport's SUMMER SHAPE-UP--in order to get my revisions finished. These revisions are lengthy but not that "difficult"--I simply don't have enough TIME in my life. Working on this ms 2-3 days a week just ain't gonna cut it. For those of you out there who can just write, and write, and write, and not have to juggle your writing schedule around a full-time "day" job: do you have any idea how lucky you are?

Of course you do. So enjoy it! Love it! Take advantage of it and thank your lucky stars.

Sunday, April 29, 2007

For Girls Only

Tell me the truth: You're in the hospital. You have a rash under your boobs. This is not some life-threatening disease--the rash is there because your boobs are humongous, you're rather on the hefty side, and yes, you sweat. We've all been there, right? Well, maybe not me, haha. But you get the picture.

OK, so you're in the hospital and the doc orders this anti-rash powder to be sprinkled under bosoms twice a day. How many of you would seriously expect a nurse to walk in there twice a day, pick up your knockers, and shake some powder? Wouldn't you, um, prefer to do this little task yourself?

Helpless Boob Lady has noooo problem at all pressing the call bell, yakking on the phone, or lifting a loaded fork to her mouth, and yet her hands mysteriously become crippled whenever I haul out the powder. Apparently it's "my" job to slap those guppahs up and shake on the Lamosil. When I assured her this is something she can easily do herself, she looked at me like I'm nuts: What, me? Powder my own boobs? Surely this is what YOU'RE getting paid the big bucks to do!

Uh, no. Here's the powder. Boob Duty has officially ended.

Saturday, April 28, 2007

5 For 5 on a Friday

5 Things I Didn't Do Yesterday:

1. Clean
2. Cook
3. Say the F word
4. Yell
5. Slam anything

You think the last 3 things on this list might have something to do with the fact that I didn't go to WORK yesterday?

5 Things I DID Do Yesterday:

1. Hubby, Beth, and I took Grandma out to dinner at TGI Friday's. She's feeling better, but tired, ate very little, and seemed subdued. Her 83rd birthday was Tuesday! I had two Long Island iced teas and was able to walk in a straight line.

2. Ate 2 potato skins (but with the innards scraped out and replaced with cheese, bacon, chives, and sour cream, that pretty much eliminates the carbs, right?) and a HUGE Cobb salad, most of which I'm taking to work with me tonight. My stomach definitely has shrunk. Note: Funny how I had enough room for the drinks.

3. Revised for 5 hours (BEFORE the booze) and had a serious discussion with Shawna about her timeline. We both decided it sucks and needs to be revamped. But HOW?

4. Also decided the end of the book is much more interesting than the beginning. This could be good. Or this could be bad.

5. Crashed at 9 p.m. right after Nancy Grace and didn't wake up till 11 this morning.

Thursday, April 26, 2007

Book Search

Wondering which libraries are ordering your books?

This search engine is too cool! AUTHORS: WHERE ARE YOUR BOOKS?

American Idol

So, how DID they do this?

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I was stuck at work last night but managed to sneak into a few rooms to catch pieces of the show. Great guests, great music, but two hours of human suffering is a bit more than I can bear. God, I freak out when that animal commerical comes on (with Sarah MacLachan wailing in the background) and sad as this seems, I'm more affected by the sight of those trembling, terrified dogs and eyeless cats. Maybe because of all the human suffering I see every day? Or the fact that I was raised in an avid animal-rights atmosphere? Who knows?

Anyway, that's one commercial I can't sit through--and that song's hideously annoying.
What was annoying about AI, too, is that nobody got bumped off. The only reason I don't feel cheated is because Jordin was safe. That girl is amazing!

I'm sitting here now pretty much wasting the day. I should be at Borders, but Grandma's sick so I need to run by the nursing home soon. Plus I'm making a chicken for dinner tonight and it's impossible to do that two miles away from the kitchen. I thought of saving the poor bird for tomorrow but it's already been roosting in my (clean) fridge since Monday and one more day might be pushing my luck. So later I'll hole up with my lap top and face a few major issues I'm having with Shawna--who, I suspect, will not be finished by the end of this month. Seems to me I overestimated myself. Jeez...after two years of revising and editing Before/After, apparently I forgot how hard it is to FINISH a new story. Sigh.

Monday, April 23, 2007



I guess THIS MEANS I can start eating again!


Well, I just blew 30 minutes playing around with the HOAX PHOTO TEST. My best score was 7 out of 10 on test # 3. I BOMBED the rest.

(Get a load of the guy with his finger in the socket. Not electrical socket--eye socket)

Sunday, April 22, 2007

Refrigerator Horror

Don't asked what possessed me, but I decided to break down and clean out my fridge today.

I found:

1. One black carrot.

2. A jar of minced garlic that expired in 2002.

3. 2 bottles of Chardonnay that I don't remember buying. I threw them out--then fished them back out again. You just never know. How long does this stuff last?

4. This weird, sticky, chunky black stuff caked under the crisper, undoubtedly related to that carrot.

5. A couple of beef sticks, God knows from whom, or when, or if they're even edible.

6. Jelly. I haven't eaten a jelly in a year.

7. A single stray piece of dried out salami.

All and all, it wasn't as bad as I'd feared. I also found a couple bottles of Corona Lite. Do you realize this stuff has almost a full gram of protein and only 5 carbs?

Guess what I'm drinking right now.

Friday, April 20, 2007

10 Random Thoughts on a Friday

1. Beano really works.

2. I've turned off the news till further notice.

3. Goodbye, Sanjaya!

4. I dreamed an intruder shoved my head into my microwave oven. I woke up. It was a hot flash.

5. I have new a page on my website for appearances.

Made you look. It's still blank.

6. I'm craving Jellie Bellies and whiskey sours.

7. What happened to all the Writers Net trolls? Too quiet over there.

8. My current library fine alone could feed a third world village for a month.

9. My cat's eyeballs are so sunken in you can actually see the sockets. Aside from the sunken eyeballs, really, he's fine. Very, very creepy. I may have to post a pic.

10. By the way, the rest of me is OVER HERE!

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Still on a Roll...Minus a Few Rolls

The hunger strike continues.

Actually I kind of "reworked" my DIE-t. I've been stuck on minus 8 pounds for a freaking month, so I cut back on my salads and added more animal flesh. BANG! 2 more pounds lost in a matter of 2 days. Every pair of pants I own is falling right off me. Obviously I'm not complaining about this.

So far, it hasn't helped. I scream every time I see "no image available." Screaming might work within the family, but doesn't seem to be very effective in this case. This doesn't stop me, though.

I revised for 10 hours over the past two days, so now I'm on page 360 of a 500 page manuscript. I know, right? 500 PAGES? Keep in mind, though, that this is the revision process, not the editing--and only the first revision. No point in slashing too much till I can print it out, read it, and figure out what to dump. Which, I'm sure, will be quite a lot. I'm concerned that some of it comes off as a bit too "angst-y". Time will tell. What's utterly cool is that, yes, I'm already thinking about novel # 3--and this gives me even more incentive to wrap up poor Shawna.

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

Reading...and Reflecting

There's nothing I can say about the Virginia Tech shootings that hasn't already been said on other blogs. This is truly a parent's greatest nightmare: the fact that you can't always protect your children from harm, or evil, or whatever you want to call it.

I'm reading Amy Mihaljevic: My Search for Her Killer by local author James Renner. Being a true crime buff, and familiar with the case, of course I snatched it right up.

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The story is riveting, and hits home for several reasons. One, because it happened in my area in a neighboring suburb. Like everyone else, I was mesmerized by horror. Two, because Beth was only two years younger than Amy at the time. We heard the news that her body had been found as we were riding home together from Playhouse Square. I shut the radio off because I didn't want her to know.

Amy was tricked into meeting a stranger, on the premise of buying a surprise gift for her mom. This is someone who knew Amy's phone number, contacted her at home, and made her promise not to reveal their secret. Amy did confide in her friends, but this didn't come out till after she was abducted. Coincidentally, she was taken from a shopping center directly across from a police station, and one of the officers there had spoken to her 5th grade class that very day about personal safety.

What brought me to tears was when Renner, a child himself at the time, recalled a conversation he and his father had the day Amy's body was discovered, months later, in a secluded field many miles away. His dad asked, what should you do if someone tries to kidnap you? James said he would fight, make a lot of noise, and hopefully "kick him in the nuts."

Then his father asked, what would you do if you were already kidnapped and found yourself handcuffed somewhere, unable to escape? James had no answer, so his father instructed him--and this is where I lost it--to "eat" anything and everything he could get into his mouth. In other words, to swallow as much evidence as possible so that when they find his body, they'll hopefully find clues as well.

I can't begin to describe how hard this passage hit me. My heart goes out to all the parents who not only lost their beloved children in the Virginia Tech shooting, but also to families like the Mihaljevics, whose babies will never be coming home.

Thank you, God, for my children.


Double Posting

Am I such a blogslut that one blog isn't enough?