Saturday, October 31, 2009


What a nice little dog!

What are you going to do with my dog? Give him back to me!

All in good time, my pretty. All in good time.

Please give me back my dog!

Certainly! If you give me that manuscript!

No, no, it's not finished! And my agent, the Good Witch of the North, hasn't seen it yet!

Very well! Winged monkey, throw that basket in the river and drown that stupid dog!

No, no, no! Here, you can have the manuscript. Just give me back Elijah!

There's a good little author. I knew you'd see reason.

ARGGH! OW,OW, OW! This thing weighs a TON!

I'm sorry. I know it's rather lengthy, but--


Can I still have my dog back?

Thursday, October 29, 2009


See? Taking the stairs can be fun!

Thanks, Dallas, for the link. :)

Monday, October 26, 2009


I'm currently (well, actually I've been at it a while) struggling through a memoir written by an actor I've admired my whole life. I mean seriously admired. Like, if this actor came to my town and charged upward of $200 bucks to read the Holy Bible backwards--in Czech--I'd happily pay for a front row seat.

The book s-u-c-k-s.

Okay, in all fairness, maybe "s-u-c-k-s" is too strong of a word.

How about B-O-R-I-N-G?



Except I doubt this actor used a ghost writer only because this actor has written books in the past. You guessed it: children's books. Without launching into a Celebrities Who Decide To Write Children's Books rant, let me just say I wasn't impressed with those stories, either.

I checked out the reviews for this memoir on Goodreads (there are tons of them) and I'm amazed at the number of 4 and 5 starred reviews. The few 1 or 2 starred reviews all say the same thing: boring. BORING!

But the majority of the reviews are 4 and 5 stars. What??? Either y'all have a much greater attention span than me (which is quite possible these days) or you're hoping the author will read your review and send you a thank you note that you can sell on eBay.

It takes a lot for me to put down a book and never finish it. I mean, if I don't find a story positively thrilling, I'll least skim it, you know? And hope it gets better? This one is not getting better, which is an absolute shame because this actor lived a fascinating life. And I'm a fan...

no, not just a fan--a huuuuuge freeeeakin' faaaan!!! I should be mesmerized by every word.

<--tosses book into my NTBF (never to be finished) pile.

Haven't Posted for a While, but...

1. anywherebeyond has been posting Real Life Ghost Stories all month from fellow bloggers. Check it out! Today's story freaked me out.

2. Still shaking the Deadly Unknown Virus from God-Knows-Where-I-Picked-This-Up. It's all very well and good to say "stay home from work when you're sick"--my own workplace says that--except when you run out of sick days and don't get paid plus they'll still reprimand you for too many absences. Oh, yes.

3. So b/c of #2 I got nothing done this weekend, aside from a 20-hour nap.

4. Rinn is out to Tina.

5. LMB is going nowhere.

6. Grandma had her phone turned back on. Good! B/c I reallyreally missed those 27 calls each day. ;)

7. Someone asked me the other night if I've put on weight. YA THINK????

8. I need ice cream.

9. No, I don't. 10.

Ohhh, yes I do!

Thursday, October 22, 2009


There are no words to describe my love for this dog, even when I'm ready to kill him.

The way he looks at me, when his ears are down and his big brown eyes go all soft...well, those of you who own dogs, you know which "look" I mean.

Yesterday we went for a long walk on the bridle trail. The woods were dense, the trees aglow in color, and all was silent save for the birds and the occasional squeak of a branch. We went off the trail for awhile and climbed a fairly steep hill...Eli bounding ahead, full of puppy energy, and me, trying to keep up, breathing in the scent of fresh fallen leaves...

Till I threw my neck out.

Note to self: You are not 15 years old anymore.

I must be under a lot of stress, because then last night I had a very sad dream: I dreamed Eli died by electrocution (don't ask) In the dream I was balled up on the floor, sobbing over and over, "My heart hurts so bad. My heart hurts so bad."

I know, right? Awwwwww!

I woke up this morning, esctatic that it was only a bad dream. And in the past hour alone, I've threatened Eli's life at least 10 times:

"Drop that checkbook or I'll kill you!"

"Drop those socks (or keys, cell, envelope, pillow, rug, whatever) or I'll kill you!"

"Drop Daddy's as-of-yet-unopened-DVD-of-1,000,000 BC-with-Raquel-Welch's-scantily-clad-heaving-bosom-on-the-cover or I'll kill you!"

He knows I don't mean it.

And, no, he doesn't drop these things, either. I practically need a crowbar to pry them loose from his jaws.

Then he gives me...

Yep, you guessed it.

That LOOK!

Monday, October 19, 2009


A fitting TRIBUTE to Norma Fox Mazer, who will be greatly missed.



Congratulations to L.K. Madigan and the release of her new YA novel FLASH BURNOUT:


From Amazon: "Fifteen-year-old Blake has a girlfriend and a friend who’s a girl. One of them loves him; the other one needs him.

When he snapped a picture of a street person for his photography homework, Blake never dreamed that the woman in the photo was his friend Marissa’s long-lost meth addicted mom. Blake’s participation in the ensuing drama opens up a world of trouble, both for him and for Marissa. He spends the next few months trying to reconcile the conflicting roles of Boyfriend and Friend. His experiences range from the comic (surviving his dad’s birth control talk) to the tragic (a harrowing after-hours visit to the morgue).

In a tangle of life and death, love and loyalty, Blake will emerge with a more sharply defined snapshot of himself."

YAY, LISA! I am so proud of you!


Let me go on record as say that "PARANORMAL ACTIVITY" scared the H-E-double-L out of me!



Friday, October 16, 2009


Does it really make a difference if I write

Instead, I squeeze his hand


I squeeze his hand instead


This is exactly what slows down revisions: when the author agonizes for 10 minutes over 5 crummy words.

Or is it just me?




Grandma lives in a very nice nursing home. We pay for her private telephone line. She calls us 3-4 times a day (minimum!) to tell us the same 3 things and ask the same 7 questions, but hey, it's Alzheimers and she has NO short-term memory. Yeah, it's annoying at times, but I wouldn't dream of disconnecting her phone. Just so you know.

Somebody disconnected her phone.

I find this out, first when she calls from the nurses' station to say her phone is "broken." Then I hear it again when the nurse calls to ask me why we had her phone disconnected.

Say whaaaaaaaaaat?

When I called Phone Co. they said they got a work order from the nursing home to d/c the service. The nursing home denied this, of course, and said it was a mix-up, something to do with the room numbers being changed, and the guy came to d/c the phone (presumably for someone else) and maintenance took them to the room number that wasn't really the same room number...oh, I'm shutting up right now, because the more I write this, the more ridiculous it sounds.

Anyway. My main issue is with the Phone Co. (although the person who eventually helped clear this up was very helpful and courteous, never mind I was somewhat of a bitch, no surprise).

Issue: when I called the phone company to find out what happened, I had to talk to several people--again, no surpise. Each time a new person came on the line I again had to verify my address AND the last four numbers of my SS# because the phone is in my name and the bill comes to my house.

Now here comes the big fat WTF: *I* have to verify that information repeatedly--yet my PHONE can be disconnected at the request of some maintenance man without verifying this with the person WHO PAYS THE FRIGGIN' BILL? Yeah, that's me--not the nursing home. Does that mean I can call up and, oh, I don't know, disconnect my neighbor's phone for S&G?

My secondary issue is with the NH for not double checking with me. Seriously, why would I stop her service out of the blue? Let alone without warning them? Because Grandma's wreaking havoc up there now, asking every 5 minutes what happened to her phone. And she'll be wreaking it all weekend, till they reconnect it on Monday.

I've been assured I won't be charged the installation fee. If I am, expect another rant.

Thursday, October 15, 2009


I'm sick.

I had to drop Eli off at daycare because I can't deal with him today. And I have $22 in my checking accound. Daycare is $25. Oops.

I never get sick. I get migraines and stomach problems, but not this head-full-of-snot-constant-coughing-burning-chest thing that's knocked me out for the past couple days. I have an amazing resistant to illness which I always credit to working around sick people for so many years. I rarely get colds. I've never had the actual flu in my life. The respiratory kind, I mean. Not the stomach flu, which I get, oh, once every five years).I am crabby when I'm sick.

CRABBY, I tell ya!

I need Twizzlers. Or Ben and Jerry's.

Tuesday, October 13, 2009


Wonderful words about Say the Word right here from Sherwood Smith. Thank you so much!

It's true we have a long way to go. I think of how my own beliefs about certain things, particularly gay rights, have changed since I was young, sheltered, and ignorant. Then I try to multiple that by millions of people, and many more years...

And I wonder, both at the possibilities, and at the seeming im-possibilty of it all.

Still, I have hope.

Several reviewers said they disliked Shawna's character because of her initial homophobia. She fiercely resents her gay mother's second family. She's embarrassed that others may think she's gay herself. Stressed out at her mother's funeral, she even makes rude remarks about several clearly gay mourners.

Because of this, Shawna didn't "ring true."

Wait. What is true? And what exactly is the issue? That you don't believe kids act like this in real life? Or that you expected a more politically correct main character?

Because if you sincerely believe that teens/young adults in this day and age are completely immune to the homophobia instilled on them by previous generations; that they somehow instinctively "know it's wrong" to dislike or ridicule or be embarrassed by someone with a different sexual preference; that the so-called zero tolerance policy for acts of school bullying--which supposedly includes not dissing others who may or may not be gay--will miraculously turn children into the most selfless and sensitive people on earth...

Well, you must live in a world quite different from mine.

Thursday, October 8, 2009


I hate roaches (with heartfelt apologizes to [info]amanda_marrone ).

I especially hate BIG FAT ROACHES that make me SCREAM in a patient's room. Because when a nurse screams in a patient's room on a psychiatric unit, it usually means she's flat on the floor being pummeled within an inch of her life.

I didn't intend to scream. I intended--lacking any other weapons besides the soles of my favorite pink, fleece-lined Crocs--to place a Dixie cup over the roach and then...well, I dunno, I didn't think that far ahead. But when the cup hovered a few inches over the roach, the roach, who up to that point had sat there quietly contemplating the ways of the world, made a desperate beeline for my foot.

Must. Remember. Not. To. Scream.

Dr. B. ran in and squashed the roach. It took more than one stomp. Three, at least.

I can't believe I'm such a cliche! Just last week I screamed over a spider in my living room. A BIG FAT spider, too, though not as big as this roach. If that roach were any bigger it'd be pulling a Budweiser wagon.

Patient: "Hey, I'm not sleeping in this room tonight!"

I'm with you, buddy.

Monday, October 5, 2009


Do you ever ask yourself: "What am I if I am not a writer"?

Do you ever come up with an answer?

I was going to answer this myself.

But I can't.

I am defined by my writing.

It's all-consuming.


Thursday, October 1, 2009


YES! It's time again for the CYBILS (Children's and Young Adult Bloggers' Literary Awards). You can nominate your favorite books starting today, through October 15th.



bugs-bunny-debut-1.jpg image by Isabeaulia