Auto-Reject

From (April's link) A way to get a rejection before you actually submit anything. You know, to build up your endurance. To thicken up that boiled-egg-membrane you call a skin.

Here's mine:

Dear Writer,

And for your next trick, you’ll … what? Make a human turd turn into an ursine one? No? Create a maggot-vomiting cat? Do tell. We expect wonders.

The Editors

Considering I already have a maggot-vomiting dog (well...worms, not maggots--but that's a mere technicality) I guess nothing is out of the realm of possibility.