Saturday, September 26, 2009









I don't mean the usual eye exam. I don't mean answering a few road safety questions (uh, like not straddling two lanes? not driving 15 mph in a 35 mile zone?). I mean someone in authority needs to sit his butt in the front seat with that driver, take 'em out on a main road during rush hour, and see what happens. This should be MANDATORY!

Also mandatory:

The ability to see over the steering wheel. Geriatric booster seats or whatever.

The abililty to HEAR me blasting my horn at them.

The ability to distinguish colors.

The ability to remember that for the past several decades it's perfectly legal to turn right on red. Even on green.

The ability to steer in a straight line.

Depth perception. I'm really not six feet ahead of you. More like six inches.

Maybe some ecological awareness? Because my dinky 32 mpg Saturn (10 yrs old, 157k) won't stand a chance against your big honking, gas-sucking (16 mpg) yacht-sized Lincoln Continental if you hit your accelerator instead of the brake.

Oh, yeah. And a brain with the ability to send--in a split second--the correct messages to your feet.

Disclaimer: As I'm slowly creeping in that direction myself, I feel perfectly justified in complaining about this. Someone needs to take the initiative to get these menaces OFF my THE ROAD! If someday I have to join them, then so be it. I only pray one of my kids has enough sense (and guts) to say "Mom, I wuv you--but your driving sucks. You're old. You're dangerous!" and take my keys away forever. Independence be damned. I don't want to kill someone.

I know people may argue that young drivers are just as bad. But if given the choice of sharing the road with a teenager with his temporary permit, and a 90-year-old guy on Aricept with his nose on the wheel, who would you pick?

So...Mandatory Yearly Road Tests for drivers over age 70? Bi-yearly for >75? Daily test drives for anyone >80?

C'mon, young'uns. Who's with me?

____ Yay

____ Nay

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