I hate roaches (with heartfelt apologizes to amanda_marrone ).
I especially hate BIG FAT ROACHES that make me SCREAM in a patient's room. Because when a nurse screams in a patient's room on a psychiatric unit, it usually means she's flat on the floor being pummeled within an inch of her life.
I didn't intend to scream. I intended--lacking any other weapons besides the soles of my favorite pink, fleece-lined Crocs--to place a Dixie cup over the roach and then...well, I dunno, I didn't think that far ahead. But when the cup hovered a few inches over the roach, the roach, who up to that point had sat there quietly contemplating the ways of the world, made a desperate beeline for my foot.
Must. Remember. Not. To. Scream.
Dr. B. ran in and squashed the roach. It took more than one stomp. Three, at least.
I can't believe I'm such a cliche! Just last week I screamed over a spider in my living room. A BIG FAT spider, too, though not as big as this roach. If that roach were any bigger it'd be pulling a Budweiser wagon.
Patient: "Hey, I'm not sleeping in this room tonight!"
I'm with you, buddy.