Wednesday, May 30, 2012


Scrambled egg whites suck--even with a real egg thrown in to add color so it doesn't look like you're frying up a blob of mucus.

Fake/low fat/low cholesterol "butter" sucks. Seriously, butter--any butter--should not stick to roof of your mouth. And it really should melt over heat.

Wheat-bread-that-looks-just-like-white-bread sucks. It's like those fake chocolate bars that look so delish till you cram one in your mouth and go chchchcuhhchcucuchchchaaaahch!

Also, I stood on the scale with my glasses off, squinting hard to make out which little line the needle was on: One-blatty-zero. Not as bad as I thought, and I should have left well enough alone--but I tried it again WITH my glasses on. All of a sudden I'

Damn those four-pound glasses of mine!

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