Cell Phone Rant

"You'll accomplish more now if you can focus on just one thing at a time."

Oh, reeeally??? I thought I could accomplish more if I try to do, like, 50 things at once. Which I usually do. What a lame horoscope.

Crisis: I LOST MY CELL PHONE! Seriously. I'm tearing my hair out. Every fricking number in the universe is stored in that phone, and in some cases it's the only way people get hold of me. So if any of you are on my list, you might want to email me your number again.

So I go into in a Certain-Cell-Phone-Joint-That-Shall-Not-Be-Named to report it lost. I also wanted to use Hubby's upgrade so I could get a new one. Ditzy Chick informed me I needed to physically have Hubby's phone there to do this. Which I later found out from my son's Brilliant Techie Friend Who Also Happens to Work There (but wasn't there at the time) that this isn't the case.

I also learned that CCPJTSNBN can't transfer your stored numbers onto a new phone unless they have your old phone in hand. Which of course is impossible...because I lost it, right? What, I ask you, kind of technology is this? We can access information on computers in Whateverffrikkinstan 5,000 miles away and nobody can retrieve my stored numbers from one dinky lost cell phone?

Then Ditzy Chick asks, "Did you look for it everywhere?"

OBVIOUSLY, darling, I didn't look for it "everywhere." Everywhere indicates every possible place in the world. Clearly I would have found it by now. I wouldn't standing here talking to a child who then asks me: "Wow. Did you check under your couch cushions?"

My couch cushions? I never thought of that. What a brilliant idea! Let me run right home and tear up my living room again.

Fearing she was about to inventory every possible hiding place in my life, I left. Without a phone.