Tuesday, July 24, 2012

Dreaming of Monsters

So I had this dream the other night...I was driving around and stopped at the home of my parents' old friends: Steve, Edna, and their son, Teddy. Nohttp://booksarevital.blogspot.com/2012/07/interview-jeannine-garsee-unquiet.html?showComment=1343402759151#c2249730552030537253w Steve and Edna have been deceased for years and I have no idea what happened to Teddy. I DO know that he once had the hots for my sister. I caught them holding hands while we all walked in the woods. But that was decades ago, and...never mind.

So I stop at their house and the door is unlocked, so I go inside and walk upstairs to use the john (that totally figures because I had to pee when I woke up). I hear a noise from downstairs, and it occurs to me that, at the very least, I should have knocked and asked permission. I go back downstairs (without peeing) and they are all in the kitchen, watching home movies. I join them for a while, and then Teddy says, "I have those magazines you wanted. They're outside."

So I walk out the back door and the first thing I see, way at the far end of the back yard, is this GIANT CREATURE. At first it looks like a white buffalo--but when I really get a good look, I see it's not white at all: it's perfectly hairless and slimy, with all its blood vessels showing through gelatinous skin.

As I stare, it raises its hideous head--and, at the time time, grows in size...and grows and grows, till it's the size of a brontosaurus. I ask Teddy, (safely) behind me, "What the hell is THAT?"

"Don't worry. It's a mulette."

Don't worry, he says. Right.

("Mulette"--seriously??? Well, that's how he pronounced it. I used an online translator that said it was French for mussel, but you know how those online translators work. Like...they don't.)

Suddenly the creature notices me and charges right at me. It doesn't look like anything that could move very fast, but it's nearly upon me in less than a second. I whirl around to find Teddy already back inside the house, holding the screen door open, like, maybe twelve inches. Definitely not far enough for me to squeeze through.

"Open the door!" I yell. I push at the the door, but Teddy holds it firmly as I struggle to wiggle inside. The creature by now is breathing down my neck. I scream at Teddy, "OPEN THE DOOR! OPEN THE DOOR!"

Just as I somehow manage to throw myself partially through the opening, my husband wakes me up so I can drop my car off early to get the oil changed.

Culprit: a half of pound of gummybears right before bed?

So...regardless of the stupid name in my dream, does anyone recognize that creature from any works of fiction?

PS Teddy: You SUCK!

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