Puppy Post Op

"Dude! Get this OFF me!"

Yeah, it's not working out. Supposedly this lampshade, aka "Elizabethan collar", keeps keep him from licking his incision.

Nope. Not only can he reach the incision, and licks it every chance he gets--a baaaad idea--but he also:

1. Bumps this contraption into walls and furniture, over and over. This cannot feel good and he must have a headache by now.

2. Rams it into ME constantly! I'm black and blue! OW! OW! OW!

3. Has some trouble swallowing because he can't quite tilt his head the right way. He walked around earlier with a piece of cookie in his mouth. So I take it off when he eats, but then it's a major-two person-15 minute-chase-the-puppy-around-the-house-and-tackle-him production.

So I Googled around and found soft, inflatable collars. No, I don't want to order it online. I need it NOW. So I phone PetSmart because I found it on their site. Petsmart, I hope you Google your name because this is how it went down: first I get one of those long "press this, press that" messages, which ends with "press zero" if you have a question. Um, you guys couldn't put that first?

Petsmart: "Blah blah blah"--a mumbled greeting that I honestly couldn't understand.
Me: "Do you carry those inflatable E collars for dogs?"
PS: No.

(silence)

Me: "Well, do you carry anything besides the lamp shades? Vinyl, maybe?" (because I know these exist, too)
PS: "No."

(silence)

Me: "So the only way I can get one is to order it online?"
PS: "Yeah."

(silence)

O-kayy. After this mind-boggling wealth of invaluable information, I phone Pet Supplies Plus. Not only do they carry it, but they have it in stock, and the clerk--who can luckily manage more than one syllable at a time--kindly puts one aside for me.

So as soon as Elijah wakes up from his nap we'll give it a shot. BTW, he's not supposed "run, play, or jump" for 10-14 days. I did try to explain this to him, but... *shrug*