Edit, edit. Cut, cut. Write, write. Delete, delete. Check word count every thirty-five seconds, not that I'm obsessed or anything.
"Please, please, please! I desperately need a break from this madness!"
"A break, you say? But you're under contract. You get no break!"
"That's right, you lazy, no-talent slob! Listen to hairy little pal. You must edit! You must edit!"
"I can't, I can't! I'm exhausted. I must sleep, sleep, sleeeeep....."
"Oh, no! Now what?"
"I'll tell you now what! NO MONEY. She'll live the rest of her life in squalor, blogging idiotic anecdotes about nothing. Ahh-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-HA-hahaha!"
"Wait. She gets money for this?"
("...I get money?")
"Only if you write something worth reading! Before your damn deadline! Time's running out, my pretty!"
"But...but...I'm doing the best I can! Oh, have a heart!"
"I'm gonna pretend I didn't hear that."
"Oh, don't let that old beyotch intimidate you, honey. You know you can do it. You can do it! Do it! DO IT! DO IT!"
"Um, I meant finish your edits, you silly girl!"