Wednesday, September 12, 2007

Thanks for Nothing

I walk up to the elevators at work. Two dudes standing in front of the doors.

Me: "Hi."

Dude: "Hey, howya doing?"

Me: "Fine, thanks."

Other dude smiles and nods hi. I smile, step back, and wait.

And wait. No elevator. The guys--two smelly, disheveled, can't-wait-to-get-outta-here-and-back-to-the-bar types--are blocking my view of the button. They continue to yadda-yadda-yadda...nothing interesting, nothing I need to save for a conversation in a future scene. I half-listen strictly out of habit, tapping my foot...

No elevator.

Finally I peek around Doofus and Goofus, and guess what? The elevator button isn't even lit! That in itself may mean nothing at all. Those suckers can be burned out for decades before anyone replaces them.

Me to the guys: "Did you press the button?"

Dude: "Oh, no. We're waiting for someone."

Wait. You two are WAITING for someone? Couldn't you have mentioned that instead of letting me stand with you for, oh, say, a solid minute and a half? Did you think I was trying to bond with you two? Admiring your stunning (not) muscular (not) masculine (can't deny that--phew!) physiques? Two words: Right Guard!

Couldn't one of you have enough of a gentleman enough to ask, "Up or down?" when I walked over? You even could've pressed the button for me. That might have turned out to be the biggest thrill of my night.

No. Just let me stand there like a dummy and breathe in your BO and wonder, wonder, wonder, why the elevator's so slow.

Anybody else annoyed by perfect strangers yesterday?

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